The Rant I Knew Was Coming!

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I put it out there the other day, that what I wrote was my “mother’s rant”, but true to fashion, as I know myself, what I feel always comes a couple days before the actual event.

Today, is in fact the day my “Rant” has bubbled to the surface. And, it has done so for several different reasons. First, and foremost on my list though, is an extremely sad loss that I learned of yesterday.

I consider myself very blessed to have grown up in the area I did, during the time that I did, around the people that I did. Not that I would say I was really close to them at the time, but I was very aware that collectively we had something very unique, very special, and quite rare.

That being said, when my BFF of 50 plus years, was on her return home texting spree, after a funeral for her husband’s family member a couple states away, and she sent me a screen shot from a closed class Facebook account, regarding a classmate whose 26 year old son had “passed” the day before, I was beyond deeply saddened.

It had been bad enough, the few times last year when posts came across that we had lost members of our class of 144, which graduated in the year of 1983, but to think that one of them had just lost a child, was heartbreaking.

After the screenshot she sent, she sent me a more personal, and acutely disturbing text message from another classmate, as they both had children who were good friend’s with the deceased.

The cause of death was unknown, but the situation in which this young man was found, dying in his sleep, after an unsuccessful attempt at CPR. having a history of depression, anxiety, and alcohol problems broke my heart.

Beginning to write this, on a day that held immensely painful memories for myself, memories I have finally been able to free myself of after 15 long painful years, the news hit me really hard.

The “Elephant in the Room,” that no one wants to talk about, but everyone is finally growing more concerned of, due to its sky-rocketing occurrences, at younger and younger ages, is depression and worse, suicide. (Not at all saying that was what this was.)

Why someone would, or could, do such a thing, such as taking their own life, is something I understand way too well.

Not only losing my father in this manner, but fearing for many years that my youngest son would head down a similar road, and also having grappled with periods of depression myself, it’s a topic I am familiar with on a profound level.

Some time after losing my dad, back in 1994, working as a critical care nurse, and seeing several suicide attempts coming in on a weekly basis, I had heard, or read, that depression was due to an emptiness within the psyche, or the spiritual self. Being a free-spirit, and being conscious of a world most weren’t, these words spoke to me.

Especially back then, the “material” age, leading into the new millennium, with the “millennials,” totally wrapped in ego-living and pure self-gratification, the thought of spirit had all but been extinguished from the American language.

It seems that, not until the last several years, has there really started to be a resurgence of the huge role spirit plays in one’s life. Or, how, with people who suffer from depression, and other mental illness, the complete absence of the role of lack of spirit as a cause exists.

People can, and will scoff, at what I write, but I write from a place of KNOWING. A place of not just watching and observing on a daily basis, but from a place of experiencing on a personal level.

We hear endlessly about chemical imbalances, and the use of pharmaceuticals as the answer. Absolutely, yes, this plays a role, but where is the discussion of the spirit? And, the spiritual emptiness within people’s lives that lead to addictions of every type imaginable? Why mental health problems are truthfully mushrooming off the chart?

I say what I say from a personal perspective. My dad committed suicide because his was lost, broken and empty inside. Possessing a spirit, that I remember from an early age, was alive and full of energy. Full of excitement for life, and the natural aspects of the world, one’s connection to Mother Earth.

He instilled all of this energy, compassion, and love of nature into me as a child. Something I would tap more into and begin to understand in my early years of motherhood.

Depression would raise its ugly head during periods of my life, when the deeper, spiritual side of me, was not being fed. Then, when my youngest son started to profoundly grapple with the dark side of his psyche, I became very aware that I needed to dig deeper within myself to find answers for me, so that I could find answers for him.

It was only in reconnecting with all the things that fed my spirit, that fed my soul; music, movement, and Mother Earth, that healing was allowed, and the sensations of depression would be completely shed.

During that time, as the darkness within our country descended, depression and mental health issues continued to climb, with the number of suicides escalating, happening at younger and younger ages.

Our country becoming entirely spiritually devoid of any positive energy, as people became morosely engrained in the material, ego-based way of living we had been indoctrinated into, being exposed to more and more degenerative ways of living, as if they were the norm, as if we were somehow advancing as a human race by doing so.

It saddens my heart that we have had to come to this place.  But, on the positive side of humanity, it is when things get bad enough for more and more people, that gradually, slowly, the masses begin to wake up.

As the multitude stop looking outside themselves for answers, and finally start doing the hard, but much needed work of looking within, reconnecting with one’s own spirit, that we begin to see change.

We are a long way from turning the “Titanic” around, but we are at the place of a new beginning. A Spiritual Awakening on the horizon, as mankind starts to reclaim all that is natural and humane. For, it is only in owning all that we possess within, the good, the bad, and most especially the ugly, that the shift will occur.

It is only in owning our frailties and imperfections as humans, it is only in not comparing ourselves to one another, but celebrating our uniqueness, it is only in not expecting perfection out of ourselves, and God forbid our children, and it is only in facing our fears head on, that we begin to make the much needed shift in healing ourselves, and then our planet.

A Spiritual Awakening is on the horizon. A claim to take back Self and the beauty that each one of us holds within. A new dawn awaits, as we begin to lift ourselves, and then each other, out of the dark abyss we have allowed our country, our planet, to become lost within.

This I know, and I will do all I can on my part … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

Reclaiming Spirit!

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This is my year! My focus, not to be on the past, but on forward movement, to reclaim all that is mine. All that is me.

Our country, our planet, is on the verge of ascending from a greatly destructive and traumatic period, not just on a physical level, but more significantly, on a spiritual one, into to a place of inner peace and self love.

Multitudes around the planet, having lived through, and survived, ruination of a “mythical” world they once lived in, are beginning to reclaim their inner beings, their souls.

A “mythical” world, as most of us have been living in a world, prescribed to us by those who believe they are in control. We have given up our inalienable rights as humans, in search of trinkets and ego-boosting existences, that have allowed our planet to head towards its demise.

There is a massive shift in consciousness happening though. People finally beginning to look within for answers, as opposed to looking to those they think are experts on matters of life and theology. Where in sincerity, we are our own true masters.

For me, waking to my own consciousness decades ago, but being surrounded by people whose self-limiting ideals and theologies brought destruction to my own life, I needed to obliterate the ignorance, and be honest with myself about any of my own self-eradicating behaviors.

A Healer by nature, the last 15 years have been focused on removing any negative energy and people that held me down. Focused on healing my then young family, I have watched them turn into strong, confident, self-aware individuals. It is now my turn to put full focus on me and the next leg of my odyssey.

The biggest, and most consequential piece of my transformation, was my unrelenting search to return my spirit to self. Not an easy task, one that took much inward focus and commitment, to look into those painful places where the deepest damage was obtained. With the help of like minded people, those who knew the journey well, for they had traveled it themselves, success was inevitable.

Entwined deeply to my youngest son on an energetic level, one who lived through much trauma in his life as a young child, I always knew we would climb out of the darkness together, one day to soar to the highest realms.

Now 23, watching him jump through multiple and seemingly endless hoops, to be allowed to join the United States Navy, (initially with the thought of becoming a Navy SEAL) great rewards were brought to him over the year. Rewards, in many facets of his young adult life.

Together we forge ahead, out of the pain and darkness of our own trauma, our Dark Nights of the Soul, moving forward with a mission to help those on a like path, looking for the Light they have lost in their own lives. Here, to testify, you can make it. You will make it! Not an easy road, but a road increasing numbers are beginning to travel.

We are living in a historical and Magical time. The war between Good and evil heightened to a crescendo. The time is ripe for those of us Awake and wanting change to step up and ban together to take our world back.

Through a mass conscious Awakening, the Shift is beginning to occur. The downward spiral halting. Momentum to be gained as we integrate on one United front. The Awakening and reclaiming of our souls and our spirits front and center in the Movement.

I take the moment to reflect on my past years growth on so many counts. Show gratitude for all that was given to me. Forgive myself where I need to. Then, embrace and fortify that which has been growing deep within my being, as I move forward into the revolution that is at hand … for the Revolution Begins With Me.