Undefining Me

Up early and down by the firepit in my Mystical Forest a few mornings ago, enjoying the dance of the seasons Missouri lovingly shares. I found myself pondering, “What is my purpose?” “What are my intentions?”

Shedding any use of labels to define myself, 15 years ago, when I left the inhumanity of what nursing was in Oklahoma. I spent many years in flux.

Being a society, a nation that more than ever has gone to characterizing individuals with labels. Not just words that delineate how people spend the majority of their time, but in the last 10 years, more than ever, mainstream media and Hollywood pushing the agenda of hate-filled labels.

I personally have no use for them. I find them self-limiting. People, over the years trying to define me; my children’s mother (fill in the blank, any one of four), a fitness fanatic, a hippie, (one I laugh at, especially after this year with the pandemic and enormous amounts of people returning to the country, and to the earth, to become more self-sustaining. I guess they all became hippies too.), and the one title I wear with tremendous pride, “just plain weird.”

Raised in a small, mostly Catholic community, the mind set was very narrow, most especially that of my birth mother and her rather large family. It was actually my free-spirited father, who likewise never fit into this community, that I was given the vision to look through a different lens.

Becoming aware when we moved to the hills outside Jefferson City, when my now 33 year old son was 2, and curious beyond all imaginable measures, we are born with a unique spirit. Each of us given a vastly distinct purpose before birth.

Walking the hills near our rural home, pushing my inquisitive toddler in his stroller, the shackles and chains imposed on me by my mother and her family, and the Catholic school and church, were finally released. I realized there was enormous untapped potential that lay within.

I was to spend the next decade exploring that potential as I nurtured not only my oldest high-spirited son, delving into his many gifts and talents, but also the addition of his two younger brothers, beginning to explore theirs as well.

A nurturer and healer at heart, at this point, also one by profession, as I began my career as a critical care nurse. I worked intensive care, running the gamut of health related maladies and life threatening traumas. What I viewed daily kept me keenly aware of living in the moment and that my time with them was temporary.

Being an incredibly intuitive, empathic person, I didn’t parent with a “cookie cutter” mentality, nor did I try to relive my childhood through them. Instead, I gave each of them attention where they needed it, including my now 14 year old daughter. They each had completely different personalities, therefore, completely different life purposes

I would/do tell them, “Be yourself! I can’t tell you who that is, but I will help you as much as I can to discover it.” My most important intention to instill in them being, “Have integrity!”

My many years of nursing had taught me innumerable valuable lessons. One of them being, your status and your wealth will one day mean nothing. If you can stand solid and strong in who you are, you will be able to withstand any storm. Thus far, the people they have become, they’ve proven my concept inherently accurate.

As my long, immensely rewarding decades of parenting children under the age of 18 gracefully eases into its final years, with the assistance of the pandemic allowing me to pull even deeper inward, I remain constant in my dynamic state. Undefinable, but ever moving towards a better version of myself. Searching even more closely for God’s/the Universe’s larger life’s purpose.

My challenge to all … Put down the labels! They are so self-limiting. For yourself, and for others around you. Put worry and fear aside! Open your hearts!

It is certain change is at our door. Help promote that change in an upward trend. It’s through broadening the expanse of our minds, our possibilities, that this country will turn back in a more positive curative direction.

I for one, know I will remain undefinable. I will keep evolving into the best version of me. Now more than ever, I know it’s a necessity … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

Sacred Fool

(Words for the Sacred Rebel in ALL of us. Sacred Rebels question the way things have to be. They dare to dream of a healthier world based more in love than fear. Sacred rebels believe in love and defy those that say, “You need to live in the real world!” Sacred rebels are living in the real world. Theirs is a world of love, possibility, individuality, and freedom. Sacred rebels refuse to be put down by those who ae frightened of being truly alive.)

The fool is a great rebel, able to thwart convention, and tell the truth without restraint. Your heart is a wonderful, powerful, sacred fool! It cares not for the right way to do things. It cares not for what the mind says is real and not real. It lives according to an inner wisdom that cannot be dictated to or controlled by anything! It loves, it lives, it is what it is!

“Don’t try to be appropriate, don’t try to be socially acceptable and worry about what others may think about what you are doing- just be.”

The sacred fool in you is willing to leave behind what has been because it no longer feels right to stay attached to it. The sacred fool in you trusts life completely.

It recognized the mind as a monkey puppet on strings. More often than not, it is cajoled into fear when it could be playfully dwelling in the radical spontaneity of life. So, the sacred fool in you urges your mind to let itself be pulled into joy by your heart strings, not into fear and doubt by the controlling machines of mass media.

… a message. It’s time for you to play. It’s time for you to let life happen in a completely unreserved, unscripted way, the more bizarre, left of field, unexpected and apparently ridiculous the better. (My childhood bestie and I apparently have always known this! Lol!) That might not feel safe or appropriate at first. That is okay. That is actually a good sign that you are breaking with your own self-imposed conventions. It is time to move beyond them now because a bigger life adventure is calling you.

This is wonderful news. It is the desire of life to operate more radically through you so that you become the conduit through which miracles and crazy wild synchronicity can occur. (My last couple years! Fabulous opportunities presenting themselves. And, best part, it is only the beginning of what the Universe has planned We all have the potential to have this!) You are more electric. You are more plugged into the apparent randomness of life.

If you find yourself making choices that have others questioning your sanity, then you are on the right course. (Guess I must have always been then. Lol) You are just approaching enlightened awareness. There is a moment – … – when we wake up to life, shed our attachment to mass opinion and float in a completely different state of being.

You will eventually see that you are becoming sane in am insane world. (Amen!) The table will turn and you will gain great inner freedom and creative juice. Stay on your path, stay on your journey, remember to take nothing too seriously and it will all work out perfectly.

Alana Fairchild – Mystic, Healer, Creative Spiritual Educator

Dare to embrace the Sacred Fool within! I do … for the Revolution Begins With Me

The Power of Your Inner Voice

The United States of America is on a rapid downward spiral and I for one am not going to sit back and watch it happen. A healer, a mystic, and a visionary, I accepted my place several decades ago as a one day voice for an impending REVOLUTION.

Research and facts of the reality of what has been happening in my country for the expanse of my 55 years of life were readily discovered when I dare to begin listening to the voice within and start questioning some of the “storylines” mainstream media feeds us.

It was the Spirit of 1776 that allowed our founding fathers to win the Revolutionary War. It was the spirit and will of the people that garnered a win and put an end to slavery during the Civil War. Likewise, with Martin Luther King and countless others during the Civil Right’s movement.

That spirit has gotten lost somewhere in time. Rediscovery of our spirits is imminent!

I spent last winter not only reading and digesting my favorite yogi, Seane Corn’s new book, The Revolution of the Soul, but allowing the process of deep healing to occur.

As Sean thoroughly explains, the pain and trauma from our lifetime is deeply embedded in our muscles and tissues. Through the practice of yoga, the various asanas, those emotions are allowed to be brought to the surface, with introspective work we can allow those scars to heal and be released forever, freeing up a new expanse of energy for our souls to find new life.

I came out of what turned into a highly transformative winter through this process. I had myself aligned with the Universe, the Divine, my God. Feeling more strength, confidence, and courage than ever before in my life, yet knowing it was only the beginning.

When the Corona virus hit and our planet was basically shut down, there was surprise, but no amazement for me. Most importantly, there was no fear. I was perhaps more excited that the ignorance and complacency of the vast majority was finally going to be challenged. People were going to have to stop “partying”, start to open their eyes, and finally begin to question the truth about the country they live in.

These emotion only accelerated when the rioting began with the death of George Floyd on May 25th, 2020. Hitting particularly close to my heart, a Minnesota native, hearing first hand accounts as the Twin Cities was looted and burned. The revolution I knew was impending had been launched. Not the violent revolution, but the revolution of the soul.

Safely tucked away in my country oasis several states away, I submerged myself in the splendor and glory of Mother Earth. Enjoying perhaps the best summer of my life, knowing that my hard inner work had been done. Knowing that although difficult times lay ahead for our country as a whole, the mindfulness I had stayed focused on would keep me and my family from experiencing the pain of what others were just beginning to feel.

The battle ground is heating up as election day nears, the most significant election of my lifetime by far. Perhaps the most significant election since the days of the Civil War. I have done and continue to do my part to prepare for the possibilities of what is to come. Historical times sit on our front porch. It is up to each and every one of us to seriously hone in on that voice within. Time to get right with ourselves, our God, and the world around us.

I said decades ago, battle lines had been drawn and people needed to pick a side. That battle early this year finally made itself obviously known. Right now only beginning to build in intensity. The question remains, what part will you play? I know my answer, I chose to be a bright Light, for the Revolution Begins With Me.

Our Time Is Now!

Calling all mystics, lightworkers, healers, and sages, OUR TIME IS NOW!

We were born with a deeper connection to Mother Earth, a deeper KNOWING. Many of you, like me, have gone through a series of hardship and tribulation. Feeling like an alien, compared to the masses. Those times were our tests. Training for this day at hand. Opportunities to discover your own unique gifts.

Always knowing there was a deeper purpose for your life. Possessing a deeper awareness of the Life, of the Universe. A spiritual connection, that most have abandoned in search of materialism and ego status. Living in a false paradigm, you sensed your life was meant for so much more.

Many of you, over the years uncovering and honing in on and perfecting the Magick you possess within, some of you just beginning to discover your gifts.

For me, it was an awakening in nature over 30 years ago, after moving to the hilly countryside outside of Missouri’s capital city, pushing my infant son up and down rocky steep terrain, in his Graco stroller, long before jogger strollers were even a thing.

A very profound connection to Gaia was discovered, one I was aware of raised in central rural Minnesota, but one that lay dormant for several years after I left home for college.

Over 3 decades ago now, my life committed to following that calling, very consciously embarking on “the road less traveled.”

Life bringing many obstacles my way: the suicide of my father, a mysterious illness, ultimately diagnosed as severe mercury poisoning, separation and eventually divorce of my first husband (3 sons later), and my darkest most challenging times, moving to a dark, backwards part of our country, and being submerged in a world of ignorance, a world I could not comprehend.

Upon finally getting out, remarrying, and giving birth to my daughter at age 41, I was more certain than ever, my life held a much larger, deeper purpose.

By this time, I was well aware I was a healer, a mystic, an empath. I knew I possessed strong powerful gifts as I seen similar ones being displayed in my sons – sons I lovingly and knowingly called my “warriors”. Each of them possessing their own unique gifts, their own Magick.

My youngest son having gone through the most difficult, most challenging times from the age of three. Fighting against conforming to our society’s ways, especially during our “sentence” in the backwards state, the result, over fifteen years of duress.

I had always told him though, a woman of visions, a gift I strongly and firmly believed in by that point, “We will be rising as everyone else is falling.” Together we will rise higher than either of us could ever imagine.”

I sit in Pensacola, FL as I write this, at his wife’s apartment. Now a sailor at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, a select aircrew member. Last year having to jump through major hoops at the age of 23, to even be able to be accepted into the Navy because of his prior history, (I never had a doubt he would make it though!). Once waivered in, being chosen as part of the select 61st Cardinal Division in St. Louis, MO.

He has spent his life writing his own script, following his own inner voice. Never conforming, always honoring his spirit. Last year, ending in the marriage to his beautiful wife, now awaiting the birth of their first child.

Winter/spring of 2020, NEVER would I have imagined the words of my vision to be SO LITERAL. “We will be rising when everyone else is falling. …” The whole planet suddenly in the midst of an abrupt battle against a silent killer. Suddenly, the majority of the planet submerged into the unknown of an enormous liminal space.

Mystics, lightworkers, healers, and sages, we all knew – we all felt in our souls – that a time like this was drawing nearer and nearer.

After watching our planet spiral deeper and deeper into the destruction of “Western civilization” and the ruination related to subversive consumerism and egotism, this is the opportunity for the Universe to elevate into a state of higher consciousness. Snap the masses out of their lulled reverie, and bit by bit, begin to take our planet back.

We each know our gifts. We each know our Magick. We know what we were brought to this planet to do. It’s time to put them to use and do it. It’s time to open our hearts even wider. Expand our minds even greater. Elevate our souls even higher. This is not to be a time of fear, but a time for hope.

Great, wonderful, beautiful hope.

As for me, I know I’ve been patiently waiting for my time – and my time is now! I will do all I can on my part to generate permanent loving and planet healing change – FOR THE REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH ME.

Namaste

Reclaiming Spirit!

193

 

This is my year! My focus, not to be on the past, but on forward movement, to reclaim all that is mine. All that is me.

Our country, our planet, is on the verge of ascending from a greatly destructive and traumatic period, not just on a physical level, but more significantly, on a spiritual one, into to a place of inner peace and self love.

Multitudes around the planet, having lived through, and survived, ruination of a “mythical” world they once lived in, are beginning to reclaim their inner beings, their souls.

A “mythical” world, as most of us have been living in a world, prescribed to us by those who believe they are in control. We have given up our inalienable rights as humans, in search of trinkets and ego-boosting existences, that have allowed our planet to head towards its demise.

There is a massive shift in consciousness happening though. People finally beginning to look within for answers, as opposed to looking to those they think are experts on matters of life and theology. Where in sincerity, we are our own true masters.

For me, waking to my own consciousness decades ago, but being surrounded by people whose self-limiting ideals and theologies brought destruction to my own life, I needed to obliterate the ignorance, and be honest with myself about any of my own self-eradicating behaviors.

A Healer by nature, the last 15 years have been focused on removing any negative energy and people that held me down. Focused on healing my then young family, I have watched them turn into strong, confident, self-aware individuals. It is now my turn to put full focus on me and the next leg of my odyssey.

The biggest, and most consequential piece of my transformation, was my unrelenting search to return my spirit to self. Not an easy task, one that took much inward focus and commitment, to look into those painful places where the deepest damage was obtained. With the help of like minded people, those who knew the journey well, for they had traveled it themselves, success was inevitable.

Entwined deeply to my youngest son on an energetic level, one who lived through much trauma in his life as a young child, I always knew we would climb out of the darkness together, one day to soar to the highest realms.

Now 23, watching him jump through multiple and seemingly endless hoops, to be allowed to join the United States Navy, (initially with the thought of becoming a Navy SEAL) great rewards were brought to him over the year. Rewards, in many facets of his young adult life.

Together we forge ahead, out of the pain and darkness of our own trauma, our Dark Nights of the Soul, moving forward with a mission to help those on a like path, looking for the Light they have lost in their own lives. Here, to testify, you can make it. You will make it! Not an easy road, but a road increasing numbers are beginning to travel.

We are living in a historical and Magical time. The war between Good and evil heightened to a crescendo. The time is ripe for those of us Awake and wanting change to step up and ban together to take our world back.

Through a mass conscious Awakening, the Shift is beginning to occur. The downward spiral halting. Momentum to be gained as we integrate on one United front. The Awakening and reclaiming of our souls and our spirits front and center in the Movement.

I take the moment to reflect on my past years growth on so many counts. Show gratitude for all that was given to me. Forgive myself where I need to. Then, embrace and fortify that which has been growing deep within my being, as I move forward into the revolution that is at hand … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

My Rant in Stormy February

Quotefancy-359812-3840x2160.jpg

Brainwashing has been complete.

Raised Catholic and forced from every angle to conform, except my dad who questioned also. Having children of my own. Teaching them the most important tool is to “know thyself.” As young men now, they show me the power of what that means.

Regathering strength as I move forward with publishing my memoir, The Advocate, what I thought was a story of my journey as a nurse, and where healthcare in this country has gone, and descends further. Finding an agent, following her direction, took me deep into the world of Truth.

Trying to wrap my mind around the lifetime of lies. Cognitive Dissonance. People don’t want to wake from their empty little worlds. Dumbing down a success.

The warriors and lightkeepers rising though. An awakening is on the forefront. My insight and knowledge tells me there’s going to be a connection to 2021. The 100 year anniversary of the Tulsa Race Riots.

https://www.history.com/topics/roaring-twenties/tulsa-race-riot

We’ve been manipulated/ groomed for quite some time for a replay in history. The purposeful division between the country with a large assist from Main Stream Media, the hatred brewing, being stewed. Hate groups being funded by government fractions.

How could this horrific event have happened with the majority of the country unaware? Uneducated? Even after having a black president? If he really wanted to help his race, and those of minorities, he could have shined a light into one of homeland America’s darkest and dirtiest little secrets.

One thing is for certain, we are living in historical times. The choices people make now, including lack of choice, lack of awareness, will decide which side of the aisle they are on.

As Mark Twain said,
“In the beginning of a change the patriot is a scarce man, and brave, and hated and scorned. When his cause succeeds, the timid join him, for then it costs nothing to be a patriot.”

“It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.”

Quotefancy-359812-3840x2160 (1).jpgWe are living in historical times. Times our ancestors, historians, and great literary writers have been warning us about for decades. A recurring event since the dawn of humanity. Good versus Evil. With evil taking over, it’s time for all conscious beings to stand up and take action.

A planetary shift is occurring. As an old destructive way of living and thinking finds its demise, the dawn of a new loving era has begun. It is up to all awakened mystics, visionaries, and lightkeepers to step up and step out to do our part. Our part, to blanket the planet in love and help others to free themselves from the fear-based world we live in.

I went through several Dark Nights of the Soul over the past decades not understanding why. My father’s suicide, debilitating health issues (eventually to learn I had severe mercury poisoning), and the immersion of my being into a world of ignorance and hatred. Each time emerging stronger and full of more light after having gone deeper within myself.

Knowing I’m a Lightkeeper, a mystic, after my last Dark Night, I knew I was 100% committed to following my Inner Voice, my God-source, an inner light that exists in all of us if we care to listen. Having complete faith and trust in the direction I’m moving and the spiritual guidance and support of an amazing friend, I know an amazing life awaits.

I will create positive loving change in the world I live in, and share that love with all whom I encounter, for the Revolution Begins With Me.

The Phoenix Is Rising

Pheonix rising

Spirit and energy, words that took on new meaning a quarter of a century ago. A time when I truly embraced the fact that I was a free spirit.  Something everyone in my young life seemed to want to stifle except for my dad who was also a free spirit.

It was the beginning of a brand-new journey, totally embarking on The Road Less Traveled. Two roads diverged in the woods and I, certainly, took the one less traveled by.

My eldest son who was two at the time helped me embrace the inquisitive spiritual side of my being. I let him take the lead and we followed his curious, creative, and highly energetic spirit down new untrekked territory. He gave me the strength to dig within, to heal wounds that needed healing, then to venture down new avenues, previously, I never before would have embarked on.

Five years later, with the birth of my second son, my spiritual sense grew even stronger. At the time, my life was in a place of total transformation, one I embraced completely and passionately.

At the time, the biggest part of this alteration was entering the gym and making the weight-room my new home. It was an environment that allowed instant transformation. I embraced the lifestyle of a bodybuilder.

I was given the gift of a friend, also a fellow bodybuilder, one who possessed a strong knowing of a deeper spiritual world. His mother had been 100% Cherokee Indian. He was raised in the beauty of the Ozark mountains and had been taught an appreciation of Mother Earth.

He spoke of the Earth’s energy. Although, I had never heard these words before, it was something I felt deep in my core. Unspoken words of my father, yet passionately, instilled within me growing up in rural Minnesota, surrounded by the magnificence of my native land.

My friend would speak to me of energy. How I possessed a strong powerful aura. How to care for and manage this gift. How to remove the Ego from my being. He would speak to me of worlds I had never known, worlds most people don’t know exist, deeper levels of consciousness.

His words were completely foreign to me, and although I couldn’t begin to grasp their enormity, I knew they held truth because I could feel it. Over time, my appreciation would grow.

Life would throw me many curveballs; the birth of a third son, ongoing health problems, (later to discover related to severe mercury poisoning,) divorce and alienation from family, and my father’s suicide. All I knew was to go deeper into the spirit world I had uncovered and further down the road less traveled.

I had been living in Minnesota, working as a critical care nurse in a Level 1 trauma hospital, encompassed by trauma and death on a daily basis, yet surrounded by people who would feed and nourish my spiritual quest. I was raised Catholic, but Christianity took on new meaning. God’s love more real.

Suddenly, I found myself faced with a new conundrum, the challenge to move my family to a foreign land (what some call Oklahoma). Committed to listen to the voice within, with the spiritual support from the hospital’s chaplain, Greg, someone who would become an integral part of my survival, I moved. Almost instantly, I found myself submerged in complete darkness.

Mother Earth’s rewards that fed my soul were instantly gone; the freedom that movement and exercise created, the purifying quality of the lakes from my youth, the empowerment of the greenery and environs discovered in my awakening land, and the seasons that cultivated my spirit had all vanished.

Surrounded by desert terrain, my spirit began to shrivel. My world instantly flipped upside down. All that I had learned over a lifetime, suddenly was reversed. I somehow had fallen into a dark void and could not comprehend.

Five years into a six-year sentence, at the age of 40, the negative forces won out. After a lifetime of fighting to hang onto my free-will, stay true to my spirit, I was finally broken. My spirit had been eroding away, but precipitously, it was left in ashes.

The choice was to surrender to death or commit myself wholeheartedly to a power greater than myself. Humble my physical being to the energy within, leading me into an alien world. I succumbed. The love of my children was my food source. It kept me moving, kept me focused.

One of my life’s mottos had always been, “The only way through it, is through it,” so with a stronger faith in God than ever before, onward I went.

Dark energy trying to swallow me unlike ever before, I stayed more grounded and attentive than ever before. Time would yield my reprieve. I finally received my physical freedom, allowed to move back to a land that had always felt like home, Columbia, Missouri.

In the midst of the darkness, I always heard a powerful voice telling me, “They have no idea who you are. You have no idea who you are.”

I knew at my core I possessed an imperious gift for healing. I witnessed it on countless occasions as an ICU nurse. It was my time to turn within and use those gifts on myself and my family. Time became irrelevant. The material world unfamiliar.

Far so distant, I could not recall what it felt like to possess that deep spiritual peace that so long ago had fed my soul. I would hear words or see visions and follow them. They would bring me closer, lift the dark energy. Allow forgiveness of myself and others to occur. Transcend.

Last fall the words became clear, “Free at 53”. My 53rd birthday on the horizon, I committed to a new workout regime, not rigid, but daily free-flowing. I knew exercise, nature, and music would return my freedom.

I began walking our 3 ½ acres more frequently. The land we had cleared at the bottom of our backyard hill, near the creek where a new fire pit had been put in, commenced as a sacred ground. I would walk “the stations” nature had provided for me, allowing my mystic self to unfold.

I didn’t know what would emerge. It seemed like it would magically occur on my birthday. Though a wonderful memory was created, it didn’t happen that way. I knew I was absorbing the powerful energy of my children, but time would be needed to transform.

New Year’s Day passed. Anxiety suddenly replaced the wonderful peaceful energy I had been experiencing. A few more days to ourselves before returning to school and work, we lounged around the house, trying to keep those emotions at bay.

One morning lying in bed, I felt nudged to organize some papers that had piled on my dresser. I took out the box that contained all my important files. Sorting through them, I ran across several from the dark days of my past. One of my “stations” in my sacred land was the old fire pit where I would walk by and imagine burning any negative energy that still lingered within.

With a fire blazing in the basement wood stove, I knew it was time for me to burn any remnants of my past. I immediately gathered all my painful dark memories and tossed them in the fire. It was time. It was what needed to be done.

The next morning upon waking, I called my dear friend Greg, who had become my spiritual guide over the years. We had nurtured a strong spiritual bond. I told him of my past weeks experiences and how it had commenced the prior morning. He affirmed what I had done stating, “You’ve burned all the negative energy.”

As with the frequent magic of Greg’s words, it was almost instant, an energetic shift. Any lingering negative energy resolved. I was placed in circle of peace. A place of calm. A place of love.

In my mind, I had been reflecting on the 12-year anniversary of the moment my spirit went up in smoke, left in ashes, January 5th. It was no coincidence that I had found those papers and burned them just 3 days prior.

The 5th passed with new unfamiliar emotions within my being. Peacefulness. Bliss. Harmony with the earth. Harmony with myself. I was feeling life anew. My senses were heightened. Colors more vibrant. Sounds clearer. Taste more flavorful. Touch more alive.

It instantly came to me. After decades of struggle and years of darkness my freedom had been given back. The phoenix was rising.

 

 

 

Revolution Begins With Me

Born a free spirit in a country that supposedly is “the land of the free and the  home of the brave” I was taught through formal education that our country was by far superior. Through my own personal trauma both as a nurse and a mother, over 15 years ago, I began to question what our country actually stood for. My journey, being a life long writer, led me to writing my yet to be published memoir “The Advocate” taking me deeper into my country’s truths.

My book started as a chronicle of my life as a nurse and mother. I was a critical care nurse, something that was an intrinsic part of my being, working in every ICU setting imaginable; trauma, pediatric, transplant, cardiac, ect. I did it all. My first positions were positive and supportive. I was with strong teams of nurses and ancillary staff. I was proud of the work I did and proud of my profession. A sacrificial move to Oklahoma City, OK in 1999 quickly changed all of that robbing me of a passion I once so dearly loved.

During that time, raising three sons mostly on my own, I endured amazing trauma both at the hands of the hospitals whose missions statements proclaimed they cared, but whose actions and priorities were quite contrary. Also, by people who were biologically related to me and called themselves “family,” yet who had no true understanding of what that word means. Six years in, finally having the opportunity to leave my living nightmare, I began a long painful process of recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Writing my book was my catharsis.

My eyes were opened as I researched what my children and I had been surrounded by. Digging deeper, my book took a highly unexpected turn. At the same time, I was also watching the events of the country I had likewise been so proud of unfold before me. I came to realize the American population had been brainwashed primarily through the teachings of the public school system. My country was not the nation I thought it was. I was left in a mental state of disarray and anger, especially as I watched the majority of the “sheeple” going on with their meaningless lives as more and more of our countries liberties were stripped from her.

It has taken a long time to recover, not yet 100% there, but I have vowed as long as I am alive I WILL assert the free spirit that was placed deep within me at birth. My heart aches as I watch the daily tragedies unfold. I am not surprised by what I see. Unlike most, I have been expecting it, perhaps even anticipating it, for as the acceleration heightens it will be key in waking people up.

Not only the United States, but the planet, is on a fast descent back into the dark ages, all very well orchestrated. Once a country so strong, we were so because of the spirits of America’s ancestors. That spirit has been slowly taken from us, for most very unknowingly, as they worship materialism and power, the superficiality they so long to obtain.

It will be up to each individual to chose which side of the battle they are on. Change needs to occur and it needs to occur first within our hearts. Not until we acknowledge collectively the spirits that lie dormant within us, the spirits that created this country in the first place, will we begin to take this once great nation back. That process will begin as a seed planted deep within our conscious beings. A seed I have been nurturing and tending to, as well as that of my children, who are now strong, awake, contributing individuals. Change needs to occur now and the Revolution Begins With Me.