I’m not afraid to die. Especially not for my country.
A near death incident January 7th, 2005, I was given the option of crossing over, or staying on the planet, 100% committed to sharing my story and following God’s plan. I made my choice.
I had just turned 40, was the mother of 3 sons, the oldest a senior, the youngest in 3rd grade with a young life of severe behavior problems, and unknown to me, soon to be pregnant with my only daughter.
My life was in a million little pieces and I was suffering more pain than mentally, emotionally, and spiritually comprehensible.
I had already been through a lot. Divorce. Isolation from people who called themselves family. Becoming ill with what western medicine physicians called “chronic fatigue” (being a nurse and being tenacious I knew there was a different cause.) Later to learn and be treated for severe mercury poisoning by an alternative medicine DO. The suicide of my father, the only person in my life I could always count on, when I was 29 and finishing my last year of nursing school.
I was strong, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. and physically. Getting into body building at age 26 as a way to help eleviate the symptoms from my then undiagnosed heavy metal poisoning. I knew who I was and what I was made of.
So at this point, finding myself, the Phoenix, in ashes on the ground, I knew I could and I would rise stronger and more powerful than ever before. 100% certain of that because this time I let God do the leading.
I’ve spent the last 15 years healing my family, healing myself, and moving towards “THAT DAY”. “THAT DAY” when I would be asked to take the next steps to move out and share my message with the world.
Last year as my eldest 2 sons continued to impress me, not only with the success in their careers, (both finishing top of their class, going on to become engineers working in the computer/ technology world) but as strong confident men who gave back to the world around them. My youngest son, the one whose pre-kindergarten principal kicked him out of school and told me he “would be in an institution by the time he’s 15,” graduated from Navy bootcamp at the age of 23. Not just graduated though, but graduated top 3% out of over 1000 sailors. Proving not just to me, but most importantly to himself, what he is made of. (Having already had to jump through 6 months of hoops to even qualify for the Navy.)
I knew my time was at hand. My sons were all in amazing places. God was preparing me for my next steps. A fall and winter spent with glorious opportunities coming my way.
Then CoVid hit. And, as the rest of the country/ world went into a state of fear, a state of unrest, and panic, I continued to flourish. Knowing God had purposefully had me go through MY hard times so I would be ready for now.
The destruction of our country to a new level beginning in my home state of Minnesota. Parts of the rioting and burning happening near the hospital I used to work at.
A best friend, in the thick of the riots the first week as the local fire marshal and emergency Red Cross responder. Other friends living or working in the parts of the city being burned. All of it just confirming, MY time is near.
I had left the life of consumerism and avarice, returning to an “unplugged” version of living. And, I have been awake and watching the last 20 years as our country has been dismantled from the inside.
I have been waiting for THIS DAY because I knew it was coming. I sit in the solitude of my Oasis,, unaffected on a daily basis by what is happening out there, wondering how this will all play out.
For one thing is certain, we’re NEVER going back to what we were. The other thing that is certain, Americans’ lives are going to get a whole lot worse before they start to get better.
I sit in my Mystical Forest preparing for what is to come. Preparing to be “called” up to do my part to defend my country.
Hard times are here. Fortunately, I have had the foresight to raise and prepare my family on all levels. We are the warriors. And, I for one am ready to defend. Ready to die for my country because … The Revolution Begins With Me.
Up early and down by the firepit in my Mystical Forest a few mornings ago, enjoying the dance of the seasons Missouri lovingly shares. I found myself pondering, “What is my purpose?” “What are my intentions?”
Shedding any use of labels to define myself, 15 years ago, when I left the inhumanity of what nursing was in Oklahoma. I spent many years in flux.
Being a society, a nation that more than ever has gone to characterizing individuals with labels. Not just words that delineate how people spend the majority of their time, but in the last 10 years, more than ever, mainstream media and Hollywood pushing the agenda of hate-filled labels.
I personally have no use for them. I find them self-limiting. People, over the years trying to define me; my children’s mother (fill in the blank, any one of four), a fitness fanatic, a hippie, (one I laugh at, especially after this year with the pandemic and enormous amounts of people returning to the country, and to the earth, to become more self-sustaining. I guess they all became hippies too.), and the one title I wear with tremendous pride, “just plain weird.”
Raised in a small, mostly Catholic community, the mind set was very narrow, most especially that of my birth mother and her rather large family. It was actually my free-spirited father, who likewise never fit into this community, that I was given the vision to look through a different lens.
Becoming aware when we moved to the hills outside Jefferson City, when my now 33 year old son was 2, and curious beyond all imaginable measures, we are born with a unique spirit. Each of us given a vastly distinct purpose before birth.
Walking the hills near our rural home, pushing my inquisitive toddler in his stroller, the shackles and chains imposed on me by my mother and her family, and the Catholic school and church, were finally released. I realized there was enormous untapped potential that lay within.
I was to spend the next decade exploring that potential as I nurtured not only my oldest high-spirited son, delving into his many gifts and talents, but also the addition of his two younger brothers, beginning to explore theirs as well.
A nurturer and healer at heart, at this point, also one by profession, as I began my career as a critical care nurse. I worked intensive care, running the gamut of health related maladies and life threatening traumas. What I viewed daily kept me keenly aware of living in the moment and that my time with them was temporary.
Being an incredibly intuitive, empathic person, I didn’t parent with a “cookie cutter” mentality, nor did I try to relive my childhood through them. Instead, I gave each of them attention where they needed it, including my now 14 year old daughter. They each had completely different personalities, therefore, completely different life purposes
I would/do tell them, “Be yourself! I can’t tell you who that is, but I will help you as much as I can to discover it.” My most important intention to instill in them being, “Have integrity!”
My many years of nursing had taught me innumerable valuable lessons. One of them being, your status and your wealth will one day mean nothing. If you can stand solid and strong in who you are, you will be able to withstand any storm. Thus far, the people they have become, they’ve proven my concept inherently accurate.
As my long, immensely rewarding decades of parenting children under the age of 18 gracefully eases into its final years, with the assistance of the pandemic allowing me to pull even deeper inward, I remain constant in my dynamic state. Undefinable, but ever moving towards a better version of myself. Searching even more closely for God’s/the Universe’s larger life’s purpose.
My challenge to all … Put down the labels! They are so self-limiting. For yourself, and for others around you. Put worry and fear aside! Open your hearts!
It is certain change is at our door. Help promote that change in an upward trend. It’s through broadening the expanse of our minds, our possibilities, that this country will turn back in a more positive curative direction.
I for one, know I will remain undefinable. I will keep evolving into the best version of me. Now more than ever, I know it’s a necessity … for the Revolution Begins With Me.
(Words for the Sacred Rebel in ALL of us. Sacred Rebels question the way things have to be. They dare to dream of a healthier world based more in love than fear. Sacred rebels believe in love and defy those that say, “You need to live in the real world!” Sacred rebels are living in the real world. Theirs is a world of love, possibility, individuality, and freedom. Sacred rebels refuse to be put down by those who ae frightened of being truly alive.)
The fool is a great rebel, able to thwart convention, and tell the truth without restraint. Your heart is a wonderful, powerful, sacred fool! It cares not for the right way to do things. It cares not for what the mind says is real and not real. It lives according to an inner wisdom that cannot be dictated to or controlled by anything! It loves, it lives, it is what it is!
“Don’t try to be appropriate, don’t try to be socially acceptable and worry about what others may think about what you are doing- just be.”
The sacred fool in you is willing to leave behind what has been because it no longer feels right to stay attached to it. The sacred fool in you trusts life completely.
It recognized the mind as a monkey puppet on strings. More often than not, it is cajoled into fear when it could be playfully dwelling in the radical spontaneity of life. So, the sacred fool in you urges your mind to let itself be pulled into joy by your heart strings, not into fear and doubt by the controlling machines of mass media.
… a message. It’s time for you to play. It’s time for you to let life happen in a completely unreserved, unscripted way, the more bizarre, left of field, unexpected and apparently ridiculous the better. (My childhood bestie and I apparently have always known this! Lol!) That might not feel safe or appropriate at first. That is okay. That is actually a good sign that you are breaking with your own self-imposed conventions. It is time to move beyond them now because a bigger life adventure is calling you.
This is wonderful news. It is the desire of life to operate more radically through you so that you become the conduit through which miracles and crazy wild synchronicity can occur. (My last couple years! Fabulous opportunities presenting themselves. And, best part, it is only the beginning of what the Universe has planned We all have the potential to have this!) You are more electric. You are more plugged into the apparent randomness of life.
If you find yourself making choices that have others questioning your sanity, then you are on the right course. (Guess I must have always been then. Lol) You are just approaching enlightened awareness. There is a moment – … – when we wake up to life, shed our attachment to mass opinion and float in a completely different state of being.
You will eventually see that you are becoming sane in am insane world. (Amen!) The table will turn and you will gain great inner freedom and creative juice. Stay on your path, stay on your journey, remember to take nothing too seriously and it will all work out perfectly.
Alana Fairchild – Mystic, Healer, Creative Spiritual Educator
Dare to embrace the Sacred Fool within! I do … for the Revolution Begins With Me