I’ve been on a small hiatus. The paradigm shift powerfully underway. The energy constantly changing. I feel like a different better version of me, almost minute to minute, growing stronger and closer to God every day.
This is OUR TIME TO STAND UP AND TAKE BACK WHAT IS RIGHTFULLY OURS! The insanity across our country only beginning to amp up. THIS IS THE TIME FOR ALL MYSTICS, REBELS, VISIONARIES, LIGHTWORKERS, ECT TO STAND UP AND TAKE ON YOUR SOUL’S LIFE PURPOSE.
In saying that, I want to share a video I found on a new blogger friend’s website. Kevy Michaels Seasons As My Teacher. Check out his site! Great things to be discovered! Seasons As My Teacher – Kevy Michaels
Transformation underway on a massive scale. This time for many of us, a time to pull inward, to reassess. Be diligent about the energy we allow into our lives. For me, if it’s not of an extremely high vibration….it has no purpose in my life. If it wasn’t already gone, it is now.
Deep heart healing underway!!! Funny how I can think the pain has ALL found its way to the top and out…when more hurt and trauma from even deeper within surfaces. That has been my last 2 weeks.
I have a sense its been many people’s as our country was blanketed in the coldest, longest stretches of winter we’ve endured for awhile. (The 1st time I’ve ever felt like I was in my home state of Minnesota during a winter in Missouri. Below 0 temps for almost 2 weeks. Several snowstorms.)
February a time when the veil between the physical and spiritual planes is thinner. Always a deep painful month for me, but with great rewards when spring arrives and a new version of self evolves.
Sensing this year, millions of people are experiencing this…maybe for the first time. It’s the deep painful work we as a country have been avoiding. Not much choice about it now. You either go down with the ship or heal yourself so that you’re allowed to rise above the chaos that is becoming our everyday life.
More of a ramble today. Try and clear my brain. (A bit under the weather though, so may not be as productive with that as I’d like. Definitely a detox yoga day!)
I keep inching on down the road. Big things to come. I GAVE MY WORD…SO I’M GOING TO DO IT! because revolution begins with me.
Much love and positive energy to all of you out there!!
This weekend, I ran across something I had scribbled in the back of the book The Beginning is Here 2013! back in 2012 when I first read it. A book that is a compendium of wide ranging views about the end of the Mayan calendar in 2012, relating to prophecies and associated physical changes of Earth’s structure.
Many believed during that time, that the onset of 2013 would be the physical end of our existence. But, when the year came and went, and we didn’t all get raptured, or disintegrate, life went right on accelerating at an increasing warp speed with burgeoning detriment. The masses asleep and oblivious. Unaware of the deep rooted decay occurring not only to the planet, but more importantly to the people inhabiting it.
My words back then:
Inner peace does not exist. There’s constant struggle with doing more, being better, consuming more. When does it stop? When is enough, enough? I guess we’re going to discover, not as a solitary decadent country, but as unified planet falling to our demise.
The question is, how do we respond? Do we react out of fear? Or, do we dig down deep within our individual selves, put aside our vices and addictions, to uncover our true potential, our sacred selves?
… The time is now, if we haven’t already, to make that decision of who we are, and how we will react. It is time to wake our spirits up!
Almost a decade later, that time is now! The time for people to start to feel again. To go deep within. Begin to experience those sensations, called emotions, that arise when we let them. Commence to get in touch with those parts of our hearts and souls that are the component that make us human.
For far too long, Americans, and western civilization, have been unaware or nonreactive to the world’s downward spiral. Lives accelerating at a faster and faster pace. Pushing to advance on the next wrung of the ladder, accumulating excessive wealth and materialism. All at the expense of not only our planet, but perhaps, more importantly, of our own humanity.
That paradigm is ending now though. With evil people doing even more and more evil things as the masses grazed in the fields, it looks like I have my answer to what it would take. The Wuhan virus literally bringing the planet to a stand still, to a halt.
Truth is hard to take. Especially when we’ve allowed ourselves to go so far astray. But, it’s time we man and woman up! It’s time we stop “the party”, (Well, actually “the party” has been stopped for us.) It’s time we step out of our numbed down place of arrested development and start reclaiming that which truly makes us human. Our emotions.
We have souls, each and everyone of us, which have been waiting quietly and patiently. Souls that contain immense fire, raging passion. But, we have allowed them to be buried in the deepest part of our psyche. It’s time for a little excavating.
Once we begin to go to that place. Once we put our egos aside and allow ourselves to feel a bit vulnerable, buried treasures will begin to be exposed. Each layer we allow ourselves to chisel away and remove, richer and richer gems will be unearthed. The brilliant jewels we have been searching heedlessly to find, will come to the surface, and we will begin to realize that which we have been searching for has always been so very close.
Just like Dorothy, in the Wizard of Oz, that which she had sought out along the dark and twisting yellow brick road, had been inside her all that time.
It is time we reclaim humanity. It is time we get up off our bottoms and actually do something to make a difference and recover the life blood of our beings. Find that heart felt excitement back, feel passion again, experience love of life and love of nature, but perhaps even more importantly, love of self.
I know I have. Because for me, a free spirit, that was the only choice. Living an emotionless, numbed down life, was not an option.
It took dredging through the muck and mire of all the pain God wanted me to endure, so that I could grow. So I could open up even bigger. Getting to the other side where I could reclaim my soul, so that I could be the Light for others, to help them do the same.
Why? Because Revolution Begins With Me.
Into the watery depths we go with the third and final Super New Moon of the year. Falling in the sign of Scorpio on November 14-15, this New Moon is going to be deeply emotional but also deeply healing.
Whatever needs to come to the surface, especially on an emotional level is going to be stirred within us. We are going to feel the rainbow of emotions that make us human. The rainbow of emotions that in many ways, are our birthright.
We come to this planet to feel. We come into these bodies for a human journey in order to experience the array of emotions that are possible. It is through these emotions that art is created, that truths are revealed, that awakenings happen, and that love can bloom.
Under the dark night of the Scorpio New Moon, we are being guided to sit with ourselves and all of our emotions.
We are being guided to allow the deepest of fears, loves, hopes, and dreams, to rise up from the pit of our belly, up and out into a new space of awareness.
It is our duty to sit with our thoughts and feelings as they arise, from a place of non-judgment. It is our job to recognize that we are not our feelings or our thoughts, we are the ones experiencing them.
Lean into that idea a little longer – you are not your emotions, you are simply the one that is experiencing them.
Your emotions, your thoughts, your story, are not who you are. They are simply the cloak that you wear as you travel from room to room on this journey called life.
As we enter the darker depths of the murky Scorpio waters, it may not feel comfortable, but it is indeed, necessary.
Sometimes we have to do what is uncomfortable, sometimes we have to face whatever is lurking within the shadows of our own fears and doubts. For when we do, we gain so much.
In those moments of wading through what is uncomfortable; when we realize and see fully and wholly our greatest pains, we gain a strength and a wisdom.
This strength, this wisdom is something that only comes when we have found the courage and determination to face up to our greatest wounds and struggles.
The healing is never complete from the darkness, it is something we carry with us on this journey home. But, when we look at it, when we face it, when we hold it and acknowledge it, that is when we can start to rise above it.
Scorpio is represented by the Scorpion but also the Phoenix. Both the Scorpion and the Phoenix have the same ability to transform. The Scorpion sheds its skin, the Phoenix learns how to rise from the ashes.
Both of these creatures hold within them the power to completely rebirth themselves, no matter what the past has brought their way.
The past has brought so much our way. We are all facing our own struggles, fear, uncertainty, and instability. 2020 has changed so many things.
But under the message of this Moon, we are reminded that it is always within our strength and power to rise again when the time is right.
We are reminded that even when things burn to ashes and crumble around us, even when things in our lives are shedding and we can’t recognize ourselves in the mirror, that this is all part of the great cycle of death and rebirth.
We die and we are reborn so many times on this life journey, so allow this New Moon to show you the way through your own metamorphosis.
Allow it to remind you how far you have become. Allow it to give you hope for the opportunities that are to come.
While this New Moon carries some deep and sobering energy, it is also beautifully aspected with the planet Jupiter.
Jupiter is known for allowing us to see the silver lining in things. It shines rays of hope and positivity our way.
It allows us to hold the sunshine within our heart and to remember that there is always a higher plan unfolding.
Jupiter gives us the ability to see things from a wider perspective. Its energy allows us to break free of our limitations and fixed mindset, and to soar above it all where we can see how every action and every event is always leading us to where we need to be.
Even if we can’t see the full journey, or understand the full extent of what is happening around us, there is energy on offer under this New Moon that beckons us to remember that things are always changing and transforming, and while we may not have control over it all, we do have control over how we choose to show up, react, and respond.
So, as you sit with any heavy or fragile emotions that are stirred. As you sit with all you are feeling and try to bring acceptance, remember- this too shall pass.
Try to focus on that which you can control, and keep your vision set to a bird’s eye perspective. Try to see beyond the fixed limitations of today, and try to imagine where it can lead us tomorrow and for the future.
When we detach and zoom out, we can see that everything has its rightful place in this Universe.
Copyright 2020 Forever Conscious
Creativity means removing the restraints that society and self have placed upon ones psyche. The fire to create comes from the soul. From a place of letting all that you are come to the surface to view in a beautiful previously unknown form..
Writing my 1st book, The Advocate, however, was somewhat of a different process. It was an undertaking of going deep within and dredging up horrific events, horrific unnecessary events I had witnessed as a nurse. And, facing the hideous demons and what had happened to my life while in a culture of darkness. Cathartic to write, to say the least.
A critical care nurse, and good at what I did, especially when it came to interaction with family and friends of my patients, typically sedated or unconscious and on ventilators because of severe illness or trauma. My gift was a connection with spirit, my patient’s spirits, an innate part of me I hadn’t analyzed at the time.
Writing this book became the time for me to connect with my spirit, and as someone who had gone through a traumatic event, to heal through the process.
The book finished over seven years ago. Having had secured an agent three years prior, directing me on how to really bring my story to life. Very sound advice I was given. She had stated it would be “the hardest thing you’ve ever done.” I knew that wasn’t true. Living it had been.
Once complete, I was left in an enormous liminal space. Not the person I was before I started the book, no idea who I was as it was finished. Left in countless little pieces. Unaware of what I was meant to become. Still uncertain now, but my feet have finally found solid ground.
My three sons, as young children, had lived through experiences that would make them more aware of themselves and the world around them as adults. Evolving into strong, solid individuals because they knew what it was like to be in dark times and survive. Coming out more confident and courageous than they could ever have imagined.
Climbing out of the darkness together, I had told them, “We will rise above as the rest of the world is falling.”
Aware my visions always came true, but sometimes in ways my mind, living on a physical plane, previously couldn’t comprehend. In March, when the corona virus shut down the planet, my family in the most solid place, as a whole unit, it had ever been, my words of over a decade ago struck me with great awe. I could never have imagined their meaning being so literal.
Our summer spent enjoying life more fully than we ever have, especially my young daughter and I. Making memories that will last a lifetime. Opportunities coming to us that had never been provided. All the while in between, enjoying the splendor we had spent the last 6 years creating in our country Oasis.
For me, it has been a year of celebration. A year of culmination of the decades of sacrifice and healing. A year of looking at all the pieces of self I had decided to salvage, and after placing them back together, marveling at what was created. In the end, becoming a year of returning to spirit (FINALLY).
My year’s “harvest” in. All the magnificent and glorious energy created over the months, it becomes time to return to reflection and inner contemplation.
With my daughter on track with her home school 9th grade year. I find myself asking, what are my “next steps”?
I know the answer. I knew it was coming. I began to sense it last fall. I had a very strong feeling a year ago now, “Your life will never ever be the same.” Living each moment fully. soaking it up, knowing tremendous evolution was underway.
The people who knew of my writing and my book, long ago tired of asking me when I was going to publish. My response always being, “Soon. I will know when the time is right.” Well, that time has finally come.
My “next steps” are presenting themselves. I know the process of what I need to do. Not because I’m proficient at publishing, but because I’ve gone through the blueprint once, realizing at the time that writing and publishing were two separate entities, and that at the time, I wasn’t ready. But, I have been preparing for this day mentally ever since.
Cognizant it is a process. A process that begins with one simple step. And as beautiful as the Universe is, that first simple step came to me in word form this morning from a fellow bloggers post.
“Take up one idea. Make that idea your life. Dream of it, think of it, Live on that idea. This is the way to success.”
My idea is to publish. It will come in baby steps and increments. But for certain, it will come. For the moment is now … and Now is for manifesting.
Life is too short … it’s time to turn visions into reality … for The Revolution Begins With Me.
I put it out there the other day, that what I wrote was my “mother’s rant”, but true to fashion, as I know myself, what I feel always comes a couple days before the actual event.
Today, is in fact the day my “Rant” has bubbled to the surface. And, it has done so for several different reasons. First, and foremost on my list though, is an extremely sad loss that I learned of yesterday.
I consider myself very blessed to have grown up in the area I did, during the time that I did, around the people that I did. Not that I would say I was really close to them at the time, but I was very aware that collectively we had something very unique, very special, and quite rare.
That being said, when my BFF of 50 plus years, was on her return home texting spree, after a funeral for her husband’s family member a couple states away, and she sent me a screen shot from a closed class Facebook account, regarding a classmate whose 26 year old son had “passed” the day before, I was beyond deeply saddened.
It had been bad enough, the few times last year when posts came across that we had lost members of our class of 144, which graduated in the year of 1983, but to think that one of them had just lost a child, was heartbreaking.
After the screenshot she sent, she sent me a more personal, and acutely disturbing text message from another classmate, as they both had children who were good friend’s with the deceased.
The cause of death was unknown, but the situation in which this young man was found, dying in his sleep, after an unsuccessful attempt at CPR. having a history of depression, anxiety, and alcohol problems broke my heart.
Beginning to write this, on a day that held immensely painful memories for myself, memories I have finally been able to free myself of after 15 long painful years, the news hit me really hard.
The “Elephant in the Room,” that no one wants to talk about, but everyone is finally growing more concerned of, due to its sky-rocketing occurrences, at younger and younger ages, is depression and worse, suicide. (Not at all saying that was what this was.)
Why someone would, or could, do such a thing, such as taking their own life, is something I understand way too well.
Not only losing my father in this manner, but fearing for many years that my youngest son would head down a similar road, and also having grappled with periods of depression myself, it’s a topic I am familiar with on a profound level.
Some time after losing my dad, back in 1994, working as a critical care nurse, and seeing several suicide attempts coming in on a weekly basis, I had heard, or read, that depression was due to an emptiness within the psyche, or the spiritual self. Being a free-spirit, and being conscious of a world most weren’t, these words spoke to me.
Especially back then, the “material” age, leading into the new millennium, with the “millennials,” totally wrapped in ego-living and pure self-gratification, the thought of spirit had all but been extinguished from the American language.
It seems that, not until the last several years, has there really started to be a resurgence of the huge role spirit plays in one’s life. Or, how, with people who suffer from depression, and other mental illness, the complete absence of the role of lack of spirit as a cause exists.
People can, and will scoff, at what I write, but I write from a place of KNOWING. A place of not just watching and observing on a daily basis, but from a place of experiencing on a personal level.
We hear endlessly about chemical imbalances, and the use of pharmaceuticals as the answer. Absolutely, yes, this plays a role, but where is the discussion of the spirit? And, the spiritual emptiness within people’s lives that lead to addictions of every type imaginable? Why mental health problems are truthfully mushrooming off the chart?
I say what I say from a personal perspective. My dad committed suicide because his was lost, broken and empty inside. Possessing a spirit, that I remember from an early age, was alive and full of energy. Full of excitement for life, and the natural aspects of the world, one’s connection to Mother Earth.
He instilled all of this energy, compassion, and love of nature into me as a child. Something I would tap more into and begin to understand in my early years of motherhood.
Depression would raise its ugly head during periods of my life, when the deeper, spiritual side of me, was not being fed. Then, when my youngest son started to profoundly grapple with the dark side of his psyche, I became very aware that I needed to dig deeper within myself to find answers for me, so that I could find answers for him.
It was only in reconnecting with all the things that fed my spirit, that fed my soul; music, movement, and Mother Earth, that healing was allowed, and the sensations of depression would be completely shed.
During that time, as the darkness within our country descended, depression and mental health issues continued to climb, with the number of suicides escalating, happening at younger and younger ages.
Our country becoming entirely spiritually devoid of any positive energy, as people became morosely engrained in the material, ego-based way of living we had been indoctrinated into, being exposed to more and more degenerative ways of living, as if they were the norm, as if we were somehow advancing as a human race by doing so.
It saddens my heart that we have had to come to this place. But, on the positive side of humanity, it is when things get bad enough for more and more people, that gradually, slowly, the masses begin to wake up.
As the multitude stop looking outside themselves for answers, and finally start doing the hard, but much needed work of looking within, reconnecting with one’s own spirit, that we begin to see change.
We are a long way from turning the “Titanic” around, but we are at the place of a new beginning. A Spiritual Awakening on the horizon, as mankind starts to reclaim all that is natural and humane. For, it is only in owning all that we possess within, the good, the bad, and most especially the ugly, that the shift will occur.
It is only in owning our frailties and imperfections as humans, it is only in not comparing ourselves to one another, but celebrating our uniqueness, it is only in not expecting perfection out of ourselves, and God forbid our children, and it is only in facing our fears head on, that we begin to make the much needed shift in healing ourselves, and then our planet.
A Spiritual Awakening is on the horizon. A claim to take back Self and the beauty that each one of us holds within. A new dawn awaits, as we begin to lift ourselves, and then each other, out of the dark abyss we have allowed our country, our planet, to become lost within.
This I know, and I will do all I can on my part … for the Revolution Begins With Me.
This is my year! My focus, not to be on the past, but on forward movement, to reclaim all that is mine. All that is me.
Our country, our planet, is on the verge of ascending from a greatly destructive and traumatic period, not just on a physical level, but more significantly, on a spiritual one, into to a place of inner peace and self love.
Multitudes around the planet, having lived through, and survived, ruination of a “mythical” world they once lived in, are beginning to reclaim their inner beings, their souls.
A “mythical” world, as most of us have been living in a world, prescribed to us by those who believe they are in control. We have given up our inalienable rights as humans, in search of trinkets and ego-boosting existences, that have allowed our planet to head towards its demise.
There is a massive shift in consciousness happening though. People finally beginning to look within for answers, as opposed to looking to those they think are experts on matters of life and theology. Where in sincerity, we are our own true masters.
For me, waking to my own consciousness decades ago, but being surrounded by people whose self-limiting ideals and theologies brought destruction to my own life, I needed to obliterate the ignorance, and be honest with myself about any of my own self-eradicating behaviors.
A Healer by nature, the last 15 years have been focused on removing any negative energy and people that held me down. Focused on healing my then young family, I have watched them turn into strong, confident, self-aware individuals. It is now my turn to put full focus on me and the next leg of my odyssey.
The biggest, and most consequential piece of my transformation, was my unrelenting search to return my spirit to self. Not an easy task, one that took much inward focus and commitment, to look into those painful places where the deepest damage was obtained. With the help of like minded people, those who knew the journey well, for they had traveled it themselves, success was inevitable.
Entwined deeply to my youngest son on an energetic level, one who lived through much trauma in his life as a young child, I always knew we would climb out of the darkness together, one day to soar to the highest realms.
Now 23, watching him jump through multiple and seemingly endless hoops, to be allowed to join the United States Navy, (initially with the thought of becoming a Navy SEAL) great rewards were brought to him over the year. Rewards, in many facets of his young adult life.
Together we forge ahead, out of the pain and darkness of our own trauma, our Dark Nights of the Soul, moving forward with a mission to help those on a like path, looking for the Light they have lost in their own lives. Here, to testify, you can make it. You will make it! Not an easy road, but a road increasing numbers are beginning to travel.
We are living in a historical and Magical time. The war between Good and evil heightened to a crescendo. The time is ripe for those of us Awake and wanting change to step up and ban together to take our world back.
Through a mass conscious Awakening, the Shift is beginning to occur. The downward spiral halting. Momentum to be gained as we integrate on one United front. The Awakening and reclaiming of our souls and our spirits front and center in the Movement.
I take the moment to reflect on my past years growth on so many counts. Show gratitude for all that was given to me. Forgive myself where I need to. Then, embrace and fortify that which has been growing deep within my being, as I move forward into the revolution that is at hand … for the Revolution Begins With Me.
Spirit and energy, words that took on new meaning a quarter of a century ago. A time when I truly embraced the fact that I was a free spirit. Something everyone in my young life seemed to want to stifle except for my dad who was also a free spirit.
It was the beginning of a brand-new journey, totally embarking on The Road Less Traveled. Two roads diverged in the woods and I, certainly, took the one less traveled by.
My eldest son who was two at the time helped me embrace the inquisitive spiritual side of my being. I let him take the lead and we followed his curious, creative, and highly energetic spirit down new untrekked territory. He gave me the strength to dig within, to heal wounds that needed healing, then to venture down new avenues, previously, I never before would have embarked on.
Five years later, with the birth of my second son, my spiritual sense grew even stronger. At the time, my life was in a place of total transformation, one I embraced completely and passionately.
At the time, the biggest part of this alteration was entering the gym and making the weight-room my new home. It was an environment that allowed instant transformation. I embraced the lifestyle of a bodybuilder.
I was given the gift of a friend, also a fellow bodybuilder, one who possessed a strong knowing of a deeper spiritual world. His mother had been 100% Cherokee Indian. He was raised in the beauty of the Ozark mountains and had been taught an appreciation of Mother Earth.
He spoke of the Earth’s energy. Although, I had never heard these words before, it was something I felt deep in my core. Unspoken words of my father, yet passionately, instilled within me growing up in rural Minnesota, surrounded by the magnificence of my native land.
My friend would speak to me of energy. How I possessed a strong powerful aura. How to care for and manage this gift. How to remove the Ego from my being. He would speak to me of worlds I had never known, worlds most people don’t know exist, deeper levels of consciousness.
His words were completely foreign to me, and although I couldn’t begin to grasp their enormity, I knew they held truth because I could feel it. Over time, my appreciation would grow.
Life would throw me many curveballs; the birth of a third son, ongoing health problems, (later to discover related to severe mercury poisoning,) divorce and alienation from family, and my father’s suicide. All I knew was to go deeper into the spirit world I had uncovered and further down the road less traveled.
I had been living in Minnesota, working as a critical care nurse in a Level 1 trauma hospital, encompassed by trauma and death on a daily basis, yet surrounded by people who would feed and nourish my spiritual quest. I was raised Catholic, but Christianity took on new meaning. God’s love more real.
Suddenly, I found myself faced with a new conundrum, the challenge to move my family to a foreign land (what some call Oklahoma). Committed to listen to the voice within, with the spiritual support from the hospital’s chaplain, Greg, someone who would become an integral part of my survival, I moved. Almost instantly, I found myself submerged in complete darkness.
Mother Earth’s rewards that fed my soul were instantly gone; the freedom that movement and exercise created, the purifying quality of the lakes from my youth, the empowerment of the greenery and environs discovered in my awakening land, and the seasons that cultivated my spirit had all vanished.
Surrounded by desert terrain, my spirit began to shrivel. My world instantly flipped upside down. All that I had learned over a lifetime, suddenly was reversed. I somehow had fallen into a dark void and could not comprehend.
Five years into a six-year sentence, at the age of 40, the negative forces won out. After a lifetime of fighting to hang onto my free-will, stay true to my spirit, I was finally broken. My spirit had been eroding away, but precipitously, it was left in ashes.
The choice was to surrender to death or commit myself wholeheartedly to a power greater than myself. Humble my physical being to the energy within, leading me into an alien world. I succumbed. The love of my children was my food source. It kept me moving, kept me focused.
One of my life’s mottos had always been, “The only way through it, is through it,” so with a stronger faith in God than ever before, onward I went.
Dark energy trying to swallow me unlike ever before, I stayed more grounded and attentive than ever before. Time would yield my reprieve. I finally received my physical freedom, allowed to move back to a land that had always felt like home, Columbia, Missouri.
In the midst of the darkness, I always heard a powerful voice telling me, “They have no idea who you are. You have no idea who you are.”
I knew at my core I possessed an imperious gift for healing. I witnessed it on countless occasions as an ICU nurse. It was my time to turn within and use those gifts on myself and my family. Time became irrelevant. The material world unfamiliar.
Far so distant, I could not recall what it felt like to possess that deep spiritual peace that so long ago had fed my soul. I would hear words or see visions and follow them. They would bring me closer, lift the dark energy. Allow forgiveness of myself and others to occur. Transcend.
Last fall the words became clear, “Free at 53”. My 53rd birthday on the horizon, I committed to a new workout regime, not rigid, but daily free-flowing. I knew exercise, nature, and music would return my freedom.
I began walking our 3 ½ acres more frequently. The land we had cleared at the bottom of our backyard hill, near the creek where a new fire pit had been put in, commenced as a sacred ground. I would walk “the stations” nature had provided for me, allowing my mystic self to unfold.
I didn’t know what would emerge. It seemed like it would magically occur on my birthday. Though a wonderful memory was created, it didn’t happen that way. I knew I was absorbing the powerful energy of my children, but time would be needed to transform.
New Year’s Day passed. Anxiety suddenly replaced the wonderful peaceful energy I had been experiencing. A few more days to ourselves before returning to school and work, we lounged around the house, trying to keep those emotions at bay.
One morning lying in bed, I felt nudged to organize some papers that had piled on my dresser. I took out the box that contained all my important files. Sorting through them, I ran across several from the dark days of my past. One of my “stations” in my sacred land was the old fire pit where I would walk by and imagine burning any negative energy that still lingered within.
With a fire blazing in the basement wood stove, I knew it was time for me to burn any remnants of my past. I immediately gathered all my painful dark memories and tossed them in the fire. It was time. It was what needed to be done.
The next morning upon waking, I called my dear friend Greg, who had become my spiritual guide over the years. We had nurtured a strong spiritual bond. I told him of my past weeks experiences and how it had commenced the prior morning. He affirmed what I had done stating, “You’ve burned all the negative energy.”
As with the frequent magic of Greg’s words, it was almost instant, an energetic shift. Any lingering negative energy resolved. I was placed in circle of peace. A place of calm. A place of love.
In my mind, I had been reflecting on the 12-year anniversary of the moment my spirit went up in smoke, left in ashes, January 5th. It was no coincidence that I had found those papers and burned them just 3 days prior.
The 5th passed with new unfamiliar emotions within my being. Peacefulness. Bliss. Harmony with the earth. Harmony with myself. I was feeling life anew. My senses were heightened. Colors more vibrant. Sounds clearer. Taste more flavorful. Touch more alive.
It instantly came to me. After decades of struggle and years of darkness my freedom had been given back. The phoenix was rising.
Born a free spirit in a country that supposedly is “the land of the free and the home of the brave” I was taught through formal education that our country was by far superior. Through my own personal trauma both as a nurse and a mother, over 15 years ago, I began to question what our country actually stood for. My journey, being a life long writer, led me to writing my yet to be published memoir “The Advocate” taking me deeper into my country’s truths.
My book started as a chronicle of my life as a nurse and mother. I was a critical care nurse, something that was an intrinsic part of my being, working in every ICU setting imaginable; trauma, pediatric, transplant, cardiac, ect. I did it all. My first positions were positive and supportive. I was with strong teams of nurses and ancillary staff. I was proud of the work I did and proud of my profession. A sacrificial move to Oklahoma City, OK in 1999 quickly changed all of that robbing me of a passion I once so dearly loved.
During that time, raising three sons mostly on my own, I endured amazing trauma both at the hands of the hospitals whose missions statements proclaimed they cared, but whose actions and priorities were quite contrary. Also, by people who were biologically related to me and called themselves “family,” yet who had no true understanding of what that word means. Six years in, finally having the opportunity to leave my living nightmare, I began a long painful process of recovering from post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Writing my book was my catharsis.
My eyes were opened as I researched what my children and I had been surrounded by. Digging deeper, my book took a highly unexpected turn. At the same time, I was also watching the events of the country I had likewise been so proud of unfold before me. I came to realize the American population had been brainwashed primarily through the teachings of the public school system. My country was not the nation I thought it was. I was left in a mental state of disarray and anger, especially as I watched the majority of the “sheeple” going on with their meaningless lives as more and more of our countries liberties were stripped from her.
It has taken a long time to recover, not yet 100% there, but I have vowed as long as I am alive I WILL assert the free spirit that was placed deep within me at birth. My heart aches as I watch the daily tragedies unfold. I am not surprised by what I see. Unlike most, I have been expecting it, perhaps even anticipating it, for as the acceleration heightens it will be key in waking people up.
Not only the United States, but the planet, is on a fast descent back into the dark ages, all very well orchestrated. Once a country so strong, we were so because of the spirits of America’s ancestors. That spirit has been slowly taken from us, for most very unknowingly, as they worship materialism and power, the superficiality they so long to obtain.
It will be up to each individual to chose which side of the battle they are on. Change needs to occur and it needs to occur first within our hearts. Not until we acknowledge collectively the spirits that lie dormant within us, the spirits that created this country in the first place, will we begin to take this once great nation back. That process will begin as a seed planted deep within our conscious beings. A seed I have been nurturing and tending to, as well as that of my children, who are now strong, awake, contributing individuals. Change needs to occur now and the Revolution Begins With Me.