Next Steps … Manifesting

Creativity means removing the restraints that society and self have placed upon ones psyche. The fire to create comes from the soul. From a place of letting all that you are come to the surface to view in a beautiful previously unknown form..

Writing my 1st book, The Advocate, however, was somewhat of a different process. It was an undertaking of going deep within and dredging up horrific events, horrific unnecessary events I had witnessed as a nurse. And, facing the hideous demons and what had happened to my life while in a culture of darkness. Cathartic to write, to say the least.

A critical care nurse, and good at what I did, especially when it came to interaction with family and friends of my patients, typically sedated or unconscious and on ventilators because of severe illness or trauma. My gift was a connection with spirit, my patient’s spirits, an innate part of me I hadn’t analyzed at the time.

Writing this book became the time for me to connect with my spirit, and as someone who had gone through a traumatic event, to heal through the process.

The book finished over seven years ago. Having had secured an agent three years prior, directing me on how to really bring my story to life. Very sound advice I was given. She had stated it would be “the hardest thing you’ve ever done.” I knew that wasn’t true. Living it had been.

Once complete, I was left in an enormous liminal space. Not the person I was before I started the book, no idea who I was as it was finished. Left in countless little pieces. Unaware of what I was meant to become. Still uncertain now, but my feet have finally found solid ground.

My three sons, as young children, had lived through experiences that would make them more aware of themselves and the world around them as adults. Evolving into strong, solid individuals because they knew what it was like to be in dark times and survive. Coming out more confident and courageous than they could ever have imagined.

Climbing out of the darkness together, I had told them, “We will rise above as the rest of the world is falling.”

Aware my visions always came true, but sometimes in ways my mind, living on a physical plane, previously couldn’t comprehend. In March, when the corona virus shut down the planet, my family in the most solid place, as a whole unit, it had ever been, my words of over a decade ago struck me with great awe. I could never have imagined their meaning being so literal.

Our summer spent enjoying life more fully than we ever have, especially my young daughter and I. Making memories that will last a lifetime. Opportunities coming to us that had never been provided. All the while in between, enjoying the splendor we had spent the last 6 years creating in our country Oasis.

For me, it has been a year of celebration. A year of culmination of the decades of sacrifice and healing. A year of looking at all the pieces of self I had decided to salvage, and after placing them back together, marveling at what was created. In the end, becoming a year of returning to spirit (FINALLY).

My year’s “harvest” in. All the magnificent and glorious energy created over the months, it becomes time to return to reflection and inner contemplation.

With my daughter on track with her home school 9th grade year. I find myself asking, what are my “next steps”?

I know the answer. I knew it was coming. I began to sense it last fall. I had a very strong feeling a year ago now, “Your life will never ever be the same.” Living each moment fully. soaking it up, knowing tremendous evolution was underway.

The people who knew of my writing and my book, long ago tired of asking me when I was going to publish. My response always being, “Soon. I will know when the time is right.” Well, that time has finally come.

My “next steps” are presenting themselves. I know the process of what I need to do. Not because I’m proficient at publishing, but because I’ve gone through the blueprint once, realizing at the time that writing and publishing were two separate entities, and that at the time, I wasn’t ready. But, I have been preparing for this day mentally ever since.

Cognizant it is a process. A process that begins with one simple step. And as beautiful as the Universe is, that first simple step came to me in word form this morning from a fellow bloggers post.

“Take up one idea. Make that idea your life. Dream of it, think of it, Live on that idea. This is the way to success.”

My idea is to publish. It will come in baby steps and increments. But for certain, it will come. For the moment is now … and Now is for manifesting.

Life is too short … it’s time to turn visions into reality … for The Revolution Begins With Me.

Life’s Lessons Due to CoVid

Once we realized the corona virus was here to stay, and that masks were going to be mandatory, our 14 year old daughter, starting her 9th grade year, decided to be 100% homeschooled.

I agreed with her decision, already not overly excited about many dynamics within the public school system, watching first hand as a temporary employee since her start in kindergarten.. Most significantly, the direction of the curriculum and the decline in actual education. My oldest having started in public school over 25 years ago, it was an obvious alternative.

My life’s choices years ago, and the fact school wasn’t “in person”, meant I would be available for one on one instruction with her. Fascinating, in my mind, how the universe works, putting me in the position of teaching in the middle schools over the last several years. I feel I was prepped just for this moment.

I obtained a list of the curriculum she would have had in public school. With the help of her piano instructor who has homeschooled for the last several years, we were given a litany of the best home school options. We chose one we felt would give her the best well rounded and most organized learning.

Being in band, playing the French horn, we also made arrangements for her to have in home private lessons with a local band instructor, someone recommended as the top hornist from the instructors at the local state college.

Well aware her home school class schedule was more intense compared to what she would have had at public school, we knew it would mean commitment and self-discipline on both of our parts. I also knew she had the qualities within her to make this feasible, an end result to help prep her for college.

Having the flexibility at the very beginning of the year, we were allowed opportunities we would otherwise not have been granted. Come October though, it was time to find routine and get locked into a more daily schedule.

Frustration on both or our parts was confronted as we began the process. Her homeschool program setting out a specific daily schedule. One we both initially felt we needed to stay locked into, having a set school end date in mind.

Initially, I found myself getting overwhelmed. We had to repeat certain topics multiple times because the information wasn’t sinking in, especially when it came to French, a topic I studied years ago, but by far something I’m prolific in. Fortunately, we are blessed with a friend who is a middle school French teacher who has offered her help when it’s needed.

Somewhere through the course of this month though, the idea of “LETTING GO” started easing into my mind, well honestly, into my whole being.

Still releasing the bonds of a time in my life when I had to live in “survival mode”. Something many are just beginning to enter now, I know what that strong hold on self feels like. Extremely oppressive at times.

I’ve been working my way back to a place of equilibrium, having been an undertaking since my youngest son made it out of school six years ago.

The “Letting go” process gradually becoming more of a daily sensation. The “Just Be” mentality starting to take over.

We don’t have to get everything done in one day just because it’s on her agenda. We don’t have to keep pushing forward if she’s not grasping a subject. We CAN stop and take time to make sure she really understands what she is being taught. Or, better yet, stop just to enjoy a rare moment in life.

Funny thing, as I find myself becoming more relaxed about teaching, and the pace we take, although she’s still a teen and grumbles at times about having to do school work, I find her enjoying the time we spend together, learning much more. There’s more laughter, more creative and diverse discussions. I’m sensing this is only the beginning.

We do have a rare opportunity, not saying there’s not huge financial sacrifices, but that’s not new. I/we have been making those since I decided to leave the nursing profession almost 20 years ago.

My priority is my children. And each and every one has taught me valuable lessons. Because I was not locked into the daily grind of a career, I have been able to really focus on the value of what each one of them brings. Truly making my life rich and rewarding, something money can’t buy.

As my years of parenting adolescent children nears its end, I am poised to learn what my sole daughter has to teach me, as I watch her grow into the beautiful woman she is meant to become.

My bottom line take away lesson…Life is short. Each and every moment is so very precious. I have four more years left with my daughter, and an intention to “Let go” of any preconceived ideas. I plan to live in the moment and make those years our very best.

Great change in our country is inevitable. It’s already happening. I’m the one who decides what my life becomes in the process. For me there only is one option and that’s to live in the moment … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

Come to Life

You are bringing yourself to life now and this is how it must be. Of course, something being essential doesn’t mean it will always be easy. You must support yourself and have courage during this process.

Beneath habitual thoughts there is a deep sensual creative and energetic awakening happening to you. It is far beyond what the mind is now capable of controlling. Others might not like it because it shakes things up… (Truth) However, it is happening now and the only real choice you have to make is how to deal with it.

Coming to life means feeling. It might bring joy but it could equally bring sadness, rage or fear. It could bring all of these and more. Feelings will come and go quite swiftly when allowed to flow. You might need to paint, write, enact ritual, sing or dance your feelings to help the energy flow. Don’t hold back. … In this process you are uncovering the artistry of the universal creator. You are honoring the sacredness of life by exploring it without restraint and that includes the flow of your feelings.

Learning how to access your feelings allows you to learn how to access your intuition, creative inspiration, and genuine internal guidance.

You are one of the sacred but powerful minority that have chosen to come into a body and live consciously within it. (Amen) … Fortunately, this minority is powerful enough that it can keep human culture in balance. But only just! We need every single one of us that is capable. to be aware of the task and move beyond the mind and into the body.

You can support your own process by scheduling time for yourself and keeping to it like you would the most important date with destiny! So get to writing in your journal. Do your dances. Paint your pictures. Create you creations. Be kind to your body, listen to it and let it be alive.

The message …. “Be Alive!” … There is no falling back into old ways. … There is another adventure awaiting you now. You need a deeper connection to your own instincts, body, feelings, and intuitions so that you can receive this new calling. You can trust in it, too. Embrace it and it will embrace you.

Alana Fairchild – Mystic, Healer, Creative Spiritual Educator

Alana has such wisdom and spiritual awareness in her work. She encourages each of us to find the best most sacred versions of ourselves. It is in the transformation that the world will find its way back to its most sacred path.

I for one continue on this journey … For the Revolution Begins With Me

The Rant I Knew Was Coming!

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I put it out there the other day, that what I wrote was my “mother’s rant”, but true to fashion, as I know myself, what I feel always comes a couple days before the actual event.

Today, is in fact the day my “Rant” has bubbled to the surface. And, it has done so for several different reasons. First, and foremost on my list though, is an extremely sad loss that I learned of yesterday.

I consider myself very blessed to have grown up in the area I did, during the time that I did, around the people that I did. Not that I would say I was really close to them at the time, but I was very aware that collectively we had something very unique, very special, and quite rare.

That being said, when my BFF of 50 plus years, was on her return home texting spree, after a funeral for her husband’s family member a couple states away, and she sent me a screen shot from a closed class Facebook account, regarding a classmate whose 26 year old son had “passed” the day before, I was beyond deeply saddened.

It had been bad enough, the few times last year when posts came across that we had lost members of our class of 144, which graduated in the year of 1983, but to think that one of them had just lost a child, was heartbreaking.

After the screenshot she sent, she sent me a more personal, and acutely disturbing text message from another classmate, as they both had children who were good friend’s with the deceased.

The cause of death was unknown, but the situation in which this young man was found, dying in his sleep, after an unsuccessful attempt at CPR. having a history of depression, anxiety, and alcohol problems broke my heart.

Beginning to write this, on a day that held immensely painful memories for myself, memories I have finally been able to free myself of after 15 long painful years, the news hit me really hard.

The “Elephant in the Room,” that no one wants to talk about, but everyone is finally growing more concerned of, due to its sky-rocketing occurrences, at younger and younger ages, is depression and worse, suicide. (Not at all saying that was what this was.)

Why someone would, or could, do such a thing, such as taking their own life, is something I understand way too well.

Not only losing my father in this manner, but fearing for many years that my youngest son would head down a similar road, and also having grappled with periods of depression myself, it’s a topic I am familiar with on a profound level.

Some time after losing my dad, back in 1994, working as a critical care nurse, and seeing several suicide attempts coming in on a weekly basis, I had heard, or read, that depression was due to an emptiness within the psyche, or the spiritual self. Being a free-spirit, and being conscious of a world most weren’t, these words spoke to me.

Especially back then, the “material” age, leading into the new millennium, with the “millennials,” totally wrapped in ego-living and pure self-gratification, the thought of spirit had all but been extinguished from the American language.

It seems that, not until the last several years, has there really started to be a resurgence of the huge role spirit plays in one’s life. Or, how, with people who suffer from depression, and other mental illness, the complete absence of the role of lack of spirit as a cause exists.

People can, and will scoff, at what I write, but I write from a place of KNOWING. A place of not just watching and observing on a daily basis, but from a place of experiencing on a personal level.

We hear endlessly about chemical imbalances, and the use of pharmaceuticals as the answer. Absolutely, yes, this plays a role, but where is the discussion of the spirit? And, the spiritual emptiness within people’s lives that lead to addictions of every type imaginable? Why mental health problems are truthfully mushrooming off the chart?

I say what I say from a personal perspective. My dad committed suicide because his was lost, broken and empty inside. Possessing a spirit, that I remember from an early age, was alive and full of energy. Full of excitement for life, and the natural aspects of the world, one’s connection to Mother Earth.

He instilled all of this energy, compassion, and love of nature into me as a child. Something I would tap more into and begin to understand in my early years of motherhood.

Depression would raise its ugly head during periods of my life, when the deeper, spiritual side of me, was not being fed. Then, when my youngest son started to profoundly grapple with the dark side of his psyche, I became very aware that I needed to dig deeper within myself to find answers for me, so that I could find answers for him.

It was only in reconnecting with all the things that fed my spirit, that fed my soul; music, movement, and Mother Earth, that healing was allowed, and the sensations of depression would be completely shed.

During that time, as the darkness within our country descended, depression and mental health issues continued to climb, with the number of suicides escalating, happening at younger and younger ages.

Our country becoming entirely spiritually devoid of any positive energy, as people became morosely engrained in the material, ego-based way of living we had been indoctrinated into, being exposed to more and more degenerative ways of living, as if they were the norm, as if we were somehow advancing as a human race by doing so.

It saddens my heart that we have had to come to this place.  But, on the positive side of humanity, it is when things get bad enough for more and more people, that gradually, slowly, the masses begin to wake up.

As the multitude stop looking outside themselves for answers, and finally start doing the hard, but much needed work of looking within, reconnecting with one’s own spirit, that we begin to see change.

We are a long way from turning the “Titanic” around, but we are at the place of a new beginning. A Spiritual Awakening on the horizon, as mankind starts to reclaim all that is natural and humane. For, it is only in owning all that we possess within, the good, the bad, and most especially the ugly, that the shift will occur.

It is only in owning our frailties and imperfections as humans, it is only in not comparing ourselves to one another, but celebrating our uniqueness, it is only in not expecting perfection out of ourselves, and God forbid our children, and it is only in facing our fears head on, that we begin to make the much needed shift in healing ourselves, and then our planet.

A Spiritual Awakening is on the horizon. A claim to take back Self and the beauty that each one of us holds within. A new dawn awaits, as we begin to lift ourselves, and then each other, out of the dark abyss we have allowed our country, our planet, to become lost within.

This I know, and I will do all I can on my part … for the Revolution Begins With Me.