Undefining Me

Up early and down by the firepit in my Mystical Forest a few mornings ago, enjoying the dance of the seasons Missouri lovingly shares. I found myself pondering, “What is my purpose?” “What are my intentions?”

Shedding any use of labels to define myself, 15 years ago, when I left the inhumanity of what nursing was in Oklahoma. I spent many years in flux.

Being a society, a nation that more than ever has gone to characterizing individuals with labels. Not just words that delineate how people spend the majority of their time, but in the last 10 years, more than ever, mainstream media and Hollywood pushing the agenda of hate-filled labels.

I personally have no use for them. I find them self-limiting. People, over the years trying to define me; my children’s mother (fill in the blank, any one of four), a fitness fanatic, a hippie, (one I laugh at, especially after this year with the pandemic and enormous amounts of people returning to the country, and to the earth, to become more self-sustaining. I guess they all became hippies too.), and the one title I wear with tremendous pride, “just plain weird.”

Raised in a small, mostly Catholic community, the mind set was very narrow, most especially that of my birth mother and her rather large family. It was actually my free-spirited father, who likewise never fit into this community, that I was given the vision to look through a different lens.

Becoming aware when we moved to the hills outside Jefferson City, when my now 33 year old son was 2, and curious beyond all imaginable measures, we are born with a unique spirit. Each of us given a vastly distinct purpose before birth.

Walking the hills near our rural home, pushing my inquisitive toddler in his stroller, the shackles and chains imposed on me by my mother and her family, and the Catholic school and church, were finally released. I realized there was enormous untapped potential that lay within.

I was to spend the next decade exploring that potential as I nurtured not only my oldest high-spirited son, delving into his many gifts and talents, but also the addition of his two younger brothers, beginning to explore theirs as well.

A nurturer and healer at heart, at this point, also one by profession, as I began my career as a critical care nurse. I worked intensive care, running the gamut of health related maladies and life threatening traumas. What I viewed daily kept me keenly aware of living in the moment and that my time with them was temporary.

Being an incredibly intuitive, empathic person, I didn’t parent with a “cookie cutter” mentality, nor did I try to relive my childhood through them. Instead, I gave each of them attention where they needed it, including my now 14 year old daughter. They each had completely different personalities, therefore, completely different life purposes

I would/do tell them, “Be yourself! I can’t tell you who that is, but I will help you as much as I can to discover it.” My most important intention to instill in them being, “Have integrity!”

My many years of nursing had taught me innumerable valuable lessons. One of them being, your status and your wealth will one day mean nothing. If you can stand solid and strong in who you are, you will be able to withstand any storm. Thus far, the people they have become, they’ve proven my concept inherently accurate.

As my long, immensely rewarding decades of parenting children under the age of 18 gracefully eases into its final years, with the assistance of the pandemic allowing me to pull even deeper inward, I remain constant in my dynamic state. Undefinable, but ever moving towards a better version of myself. Searching even more closely for God’s/the Universe’s larger life’s purpose.

My challenge to all … Put down the labels! They are so self-limiting. For yourself, and for others around you. Put worry and fear aside! Open your hearts!

It is certain change is at our door. Help promote that change in an upward trend. It’s through broadening the expanse of our minds, our possibilities, that this country will turn back in a more positive curative direction.

I for one, know I will remain undefinable. I will keep evolving into the best version of me. Now more than ever, I know it’s a necessity … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

Sacred Fool

(Words for the Sacred Rebel in ALL of us. Sacred Rebels question the way things have to be. They dare to dream of a healthier world based more in love than fear. Sacred rebels believe in love and defy those that say, “You need to live in the real world!” Sacred rebels are living in the real world. Theirs is a world of love, possibility, individuality, and freedom. Sacred rebels refuse to be put down by those who ae frightened of being truly alive.)

The fool is a great rebel, able to thwart convention, and tell the truth without restraint. Your heart is a wonderful, powerful, sacred fool! It cares not for the right way to do things. It cares not for what the mind says is real and not real. It lives according to an inner wisdom that cannot be dictated to or controlled by anything! It loves, it lives, it is what it is!

“Don’t try to be appropriate, don’t try to be socially acceptable and worry about what others may think about what you are doing- just be.”

The sacred fool in you is willing to leave behind what has been because it no longer feels right to stay attached to it. The sacred fool in you trusts life completely.

It recognized the mind as a monkey puppet on strings. More often than not, it is cajoled into fear when it could be playfully dwelling in the radical spontaneity of life. So, the sacred fool in you urges your mind to let itself be pulled into joy by your heart strings, not into fear and doubt by the controlling machines of mass media.

… a message. It’s time for you to play. It’s time for you to let life happen in a completely unreserved, unscripted way, the more bizarre, left of field, unexpected and apparently ridiculous the better. (My childhood bestie and I apparently have always known this! Lol!) That might not feel safe or appropriate at first. That is okay. That is actually a good sign that you are breaking with your own self-imposed conventions. It is time to move beyond them now because a bigger life adventure is calling you.

This is wonderful news. It is the desire of life to operate more radically through you so that you become the conduit through which miracles and crazy wild synchronicity can occur. (My last couple years! Fabulous opportunities presenting themselves. And, best part, it is only the beginning of what the Universe has planned We all have the potential to have this!) You are more electric. You are more plugged into the apparent randomness of life.

If you find yourself making choices that have others questioning your sanity, then you are on the right course. (Guess I must have always been then. Lol) You are just approaching enlightened awareness. There is a moment – … – when we wake up to life, shed our attachment to mass opinion and float in a completely different state of being.

You will eventually see that you are becoming sane in am insane world. (Amen!) The table will turn and you will gain great inner freedom and creative juice. Stay on your path, stay on your journey, remember to take nothing too seriously and it will all work out perfectly.

Alana Fairchild – Mystic, Healer, Creative Spiritual Educator

Dare to embrace the Sacred Fool within! I do … for the Revolution Begins With Me

Reclaiming Spirit!

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This is my year! My focus, not to be on the past, but on forward movement, to reclaim all that is mine. All that is me.

Our country, our planet, is on the verge of ascending from a greatly destructive and traumatic period, not just on a physical level, but more significantly, on a spiritual one, into to a place of inner peace and self love.

Multitudes around the planet, having lived through, and survived, ruination of a “mythical” world they once lived in, are beginning to reclaim their inner beings, their souls.

A “mythical” world, as most of us have been living in a world, prescribed to us by those who believe they are in control. We have given up our inalienable rights as humans, in search of trinkets and ego-boosting existences, that have allowed our planet to head towards its demise.

There is a massive shift in consciousness happening though. People finally beginning to look within for answers, as opposed to looking to those they think are experts on matters of life and theology. Where in sincerity, we are our own true masters.

For me, waking to my own consciousness decades ago, but being surrounded by people whose self-limiting ideals and theologies brought destruction to my own life, I needed to obliterate the ignorance, and be honest with myself about any of my own self-eradicating behaviors.

A Healer by nature, the last 15 years have been focused on removing any negative energy and people that held me down. Focused on healing my then young family, I have watched them turn into strong, confident, self-aware individuals. It is now my turn to put full focus on me and the next leg of my odyssey.

The biggest, and most consequential piece of my transformation, was my unrelenting search to return my spirit to self. Not an easy task, one that took much inward focus and commitment, to look into those painful places where the deepest damage was obtained. With the help of like minded people, those who knew the journey well, for they had traveled it themselves, success was inevitable.

Entwined deeply to my youngest son on an energetic level, one who lived through much trauma in his life as a young child, I always knew we would climb out of the darkness together, one day to soar to the highest realms.

Now 23, watching him jump through multiple and seemingly endless hoops, to be allowed to join the United States Navy, (initially with the thought of becoming a Navy SEAL) great rewards were brought to him over the year. Rewards, in many facets of his young adult life.

Together we forge ahead, out of the pain and darkness of our own trauma, our Dark Nights of the Soul, moving forward with a mission to help those on a like path, looking for the Light they have lost in their own lives. Here, to testify, you can make it. You will make it! Not an easy road, but a road increasing numbers are beginning to travel.

We are living in a historical and Magical time. The war between Good and evil heightened to a crescendo. The time is ripe for those of us Awake and wanting change to step up and ban together to take our world back.

Through a mass conscious Awakening, the Shift is beginning to occur. The downward spiral halting. Momentum to be gained as we integrate on one United front. The Awakening and reclaiming of our souls and our spirits front and center in the Movement.

I take the moment to reflect on my past years growth on so many counts. Show gratitude for all that was given to me. Forgive myself where I need to. Then, embrace and fortify that which has been growing deep within my being, as I move forward into the revolution that is at hand … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

When the Butterflies Came

IMG_2075 (5)My 9 year old daughter discovered the book, “When the Butterflies Came” by Kimberly Griffiths Little about a month ago. She likes to read, but I wouldn’t say she’s an avid reader like my two oldest sons were. There was something in that 327 page book though, that she couldn’t put down.

As soon as she finished, she insisted I start reading it right away. It took me a week to begin, but only a few chapters in I was hooked. Suddenly, images of my life in Oklahoma City came flooding back.

I never had any bond or any internal connection with my mother. When I was young I thought it was because of me. After I had my first son at the age of 21, I realized that wasn’t true. I felt a love for him like I had never known. I have always been the free spirit who was never allowed to fly, but with him that all changed. I taught him, and my sons that followed, a passion for life. I encouraged them to be in touch with their spirits.

My sons taught me what real maternal love should feel like. I loved them passionately and I loved life passionately, but there was always something missing. After separating from my first husband because work was his priority, not his family, certainly not his wife, we all moved to Oklahoma City when he was transferred, to keep their father in their life.

I am a highly intuitive, highly spiritual person. We were living in a Minneapolis suburb at the time. I was working as a critical care nurse. We were near biological family, but I couldn’t have felt more alone. I had health issues that were only exasperated by the weather. My heart and my ego told me to move back to Columbia, MO, my children’s birthplace, but my spirit POWERFULLY urged me to move to Oklahoma City.

It was an immensely difficult thing to do. I was still sad and alone, only now I was in a strange land. A year in I met a man, Joey, an Italian from Pittsburgh, enormously caring and passionate. He worked as a physician’s assistant with the liver transplant team. In time he would become my nurturer, my healer.

At the age of 35, he was able to fill the needs that my mother never could. He was aware of the significance of that relationship and of my inner child. I had a love of butterflies and several rooms in my house were decorated with them. He bought me many gifts with butterflies. My favorite was a lawn statue of a young girl running with a net.

Time passed and life moved on. Upon finding my second husband and moving back to Columbia, MO at the age of 40, when I became pregnant I knew it was with a daughter. I knew God was giving me the one thing I needed to feel complete. On a warm spring day when the butterflies were out, a beautiful little girl was born, my “helper and defender of mankind.”

When she got a little older, I gave Joey back the statue of the little girl to put in his backyard sanctuary where he had allowed that little girl in me to heal. The thought of her left the recesses of my mind….until now. Until my beautiful little angel prepares to turn 10 and discovers a story about butterflies, and they suddenly become very special to her.

I anticipate the beauty of the upcoming spring and the desire to plant flowers all around us, as we invite all the butterflies into our world.  I confirm the circle of life. I confirm the process of healing. I confirm the power of love. The change we desire starts from within. The revolution begins with me.

THE BECOMING

I’m saying good-bye to…. a decade of watching my boys turn into men, into true spiritual warriors.  A decade of giving life to a beautiful angel and watching her grow.  A decade of allowing the little girl within me to go to the light.  A decade of releasing the anger so the passion could return.  A decade of fighting for the return of my spirit and my freedom.

I am reclaiming my voice.  For only in bringing the truth out of the shadows will this planet find its way back to a more natural and benevolent universe.  I am reclaiming the light God placed within me so it will shine bright like a beacon for all those lost, hurting, or longing for a more peaceful world.

This is my return to love.  For only through love will we reclaim the supreme strength and energy our Greater Power has placed within us.  I am ready to stand tall, proud, and confident for I am a child of God and with God there is no fear.  There is only love.

This is my Becoming.  The Revolution begins with me.