Life’s Lessons Due to CoVid

Once we realized the corona virus was here to stay, and that masks were going to be mandatory, our 14 year old daughter, starting her 9th grade year, decided to be 100% homeschooled.

I agreed with her decision, already not overly excited about many dynamics within the public school system, watching first hand as a temporary employee since her start in kindergarten.. Most significantly, the direction of the curriculum and the decline in actual education. My oldest having started in public school over 25 years ago, it was an obvious alternative.

My life’s choices years ago, and the fact school wasn’t “in person”, meant I would be available for one on one instruction with her. Fascinating, in my mind, how the universe works, putting me in the position of teaching in the middle schools over the last several years. I feel I was prepped just for this moment.

I obtained a list of the curriculum she would have had in public school. With the help of her piano instructor who has homeschooled for the last several years, we were given a litany of the best home school options. We chose one we felt would give her the best well rounded and most organized learning.

Being in band, playing the French horn, we also made arrangements for her to have in home private lessons with a local band instructor, someone recommended as the top hornist from the instructors at the local state college.

Well aware her home school class schedule was more intense compared to what she would have had at public school, we knew it would mean commitment and self-discipline on both of our parts. I also knew she had the qualities within her to make this feasible, an end result to help prep her for college.

Having the flexibility at the very beginning of the year, we were allowed opportunities we would otherwise not have been granted. Come October though, it was time to find routine and get locked into a more daily schedule.

Frustration on both or our parts was confronted as we began the process. Her homeschool program setting out a specific daily schedule. One we both initially felt we needed to stay locked into, having a set school end date in mind.

Initially, I found myself getting overwhelmed. We had to repeat certain topics multiple times because the information wasn’t sinking in, especially when it came to French, a topic I studied years ago, but by far something I’m prolific in. Fortunately, we are blessed with a friend who is a middle school French teacher who has offered her help when it’s needed.

Somewhere through the course of this month though, the idea of “LETTING GO” started easing into my mind, well honestly, into my whole being.

Still releasing the bonds of a time in my life when I had to live in “survival mode”. Something many are just beginning to enter now, I know what that strong hold on self feels like. Extremely oppressive at times.

I’ve been working my way back to a place of equilibrium, having been an undertaking since my youngest son made it out of school six years ago.

The “Letting go” process gradually becoming more of a daily sensation. The “Just Be” mentality starting to take over.

We don’t have to get everything done in one day just because it’s on her agenda. We don’t have to keep pushing forward if she’s not grasping a subject. We CAN stop and take time to make sure she really understands what she is being taught. Or, better yet, stop just to enjoy a rare moment in life.

Funny thing, as I find myself becoming more relaxed about teaching, and the pace we take, although she’s still a teen and grumbles at times about having to do school work, I find her enjoying the time we spend together, learning much more. There’s more laughter, more creative and diverse discussions. I’m sensing this is only the beginning.

We do have a rare opportunity, not saying there’s not huge financial sacrifices, but that’s not new. I/we have been making those since I decided to leave the nursing profession almost 20 years ago.

My priority is my children. And each and every one has taught me valuable lessons. Because I was not locked into the daily grind of a career, I have been able to really focus on the value of what each one of them brings. Truly making my life rich and rewarding, something money can’t buy.

As my years of parenting adolescent children nears its end, I am poised to learn what my sole daughter has to teach me, as I watch her grow into the beautiful woman she is meant to become.

My bottom line take away lesson…Life is short. Each and every moment is so very precious. I have four more years left with my daughter, and an intention to “Let go” of any preconceived ideas. I plan to live in the moment and make those years our very best.

Great change in our country is inevitable. It’s already happening. I’m the one who decides what my life becomes in the process. For me there only is one option and that’s to live in the moment … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

Undefining Me

Up early and down by the firepit in my Mystical Forest a few mornings ago, enjoying the dance of the seasons Missouri lovingly shares. I found myself pondering, “What is my purpose?” “What are my intentions?”

Shedding any use of labels to define myself, 15 years ago, when I left the inhumanity of what nursing was in Oklahoma. I spent many years in flux.

Being a society, a nation that more than ever has gone to characterizing individuals with labels. Not just words that delineate how people spend the majority of their time, but in the last 10 years, more than ever, mainstream media and Hollywood pushing the agenda of hate-filled labels.

I personally have no use for them. I find them self-limiting. People, over the years trying to define me; my children’s mother (fill in the blank, any one of four), a fitness fanatic, a hippie, (one I laugh at, especially after this year with the pandemic and enormous amounts of people returning to the country, and to the earth, to become more self-sustaining. I guess they all became hippies too.), and the one title I wear with tremendous pride, “just plain weird.”

Raised in a small, mostly Catholic community, the mind set was very narrow, most especially that of my birth mother and her rather large family. It was actually my free-spirited father, who likewise never fit into this community, that I was given the vision to look through a different lens.

Becoming aware when we moved to the hills outside Jefferson City, when my now 33 year old son was 2, and curious beyond all imaginable measures, we are born with a unique spirit. Each of us given a vastly distinct purpose before birth.

Walking the hills near our rural home, pushing my inquisitive toddler in his stroller, the shackles and chains imposed on me by my mother and her family, and the Catholic school and church, were finally released. I realized there was enormous untapped potential that lay within.

I was to spend the next decade exploring that potential as I nurtured not only my oldest high-spirited son, delving into his many gifts and talents, but also the addition of his two younger brothers, beginning to explore theirs as well.

A nurturer and healer at heart, at this point, also one by profession, as I began my career as a critical care nurse. I worked intensive care, running the gamut of health related maladies and life threatening traumas. What I viewed daily kept me keenly aware of living in the moment and that my time with them was temporary.

Being an incredibly intuitive, empathic person, I didn’t parent with a “cookie cutter” mentality, nor did I try to relive my childhood through them. Instead, I gave each of them attention where they needed it, including my now 14 year old daughter. They each had completely different personalities, therefore, completely different life purposes

I would/do tell them, “Be yourself! I can’t tell you who that is, but I will help you as much as I can to discover it.” My most important intention to instill in them being, “Have integrity!”

My many years of nursing had taught me innumerable valuable lessons. One of them being, your status and your wealth will one day mean nothing. If you can stand solid and strong in who you are, you will be able to withstand any storm. Thus far, the people they have become, they’ve proven my concept inherently accurate.

As my long, immensely rewarding decades of parenting children under the age of 18 gracefully eases into its final years, with the assistance of the pandemic allowing me to pull even deeper inward, I remain constant in my dynamic state. Undefinable, but ever moving towards a better version of myself. Searching even more closely for God’s/the Universe’s larger life’s purpose.

My challenge to all … Put down the labels! They are so self-limiting. For yourself, and for others around you. Put worry and fear aside! Open your hearts!

It is certain change is at our door. Help promote that change in an upward trend. It’s through broadening the expanse of our minds, our possibilities, that this country will turn back in a more positive curative direction.

I for one, know I will remain undefinable. I will keep evolving into the best version of me. Now more than ever, I know it’s a necessity … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

Our Time Is Now!

Calling all mystics, lightworkers, healers, and sages, OUR TIME IS NOW!

We were born with a deeper connection to Mother Earth, a deeper KNOWING. Many of you, like me, have gone through a series of hardship and tribulation. Feeling like an alien, compared to the masses. Those times were our tests. Training for this day at hand. Opportunities to discover your own unique gifts.

Always knowing there was a deeper purpose for your life. Possessing a deeper awareness of the Life, of the Universe. A spiritual connection, that most have abandoned in search of materialism and ego status. Living in a false paradigm, you sensed your life was meant for so much more.

Many of you, over the years uncovering and honing in on and perfecting the Magick you possess within, some of you just beginning to discover your gifts.

For me, it was an awakening in nature over 30 years ago, after moving to the hilly countryside outside of Missouri’s capital city, pushing my infant son up and down rocky steep terrain, in his Graco stroller, long before jogger strollers were even a thing.

A very profound connection to Gaia was discovered, one I was aware of raised in central rural Minnesota, but one that lay dormant for several years after I left home for college.

Over 3 decades ago now, my life committed to following that calling, very consciously embarking on “the road less traveled.”

Life bringing many obstacles my way: the suicide of my father, a mysterious illness, ultimately diagnosed as severe mercury poisoning, separation and eventually divorce of my first husband (3 sons later), and my darkest most challenging times, moving to a dark, backwards part of our country, and being submerged in a world of ignorance, a world I could not comprehend.

Upon finally getting out, remarrying, and giving birth to my daughter at age 41, I was more certain than ever, my life held a much larger, deeper purpose.

By this time, I was well aware I was a healer, a mystic, an empath. I knew I possessed strong powerful gifts as I seen similar ones being displayed in my sons – sons I lovingly and knowingly called my “warriors”. Each of them possessing their own unique gifts, their own Magick.

My youngest son having gone through the most difficult, most challenging times from the age of three. Fighting against conforming to our society’s ways, especially during our “sentence” in the backwards state, the result, over fifteen years of duress.

I had always told him though, a woman of visions, a gift I strongly and firmly believed in by that point, “We will be rising as everyone else is falling.” Together we will rise higher than either of us could ever imagine.”

I sit in Pensacola, FL as I write this, at his wife’s apartment. Now a sailor at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, a select aircrew member. Last year having to jump through major hoops at the age of 23, to even be able to be accepted into the Navy because of his prior history, (I never had a doubt he would make it though!). Once waivered in, being chosen as part of the select 61st Cardinal Division in St. Louis, MO.

He has spent his life writing his own script, following his own inner voice. Never conforming, always honoring his spirit. Last year, ending in the marriage to his beautiful wife, now awaiting the birth of their first child.

Winter/spring of 2020, NEVER would I have imagined the words of my vision to be SO LITERAL. “We will be rising when everyone else is falling. …” The whole planet suddenly in the midst of an abrupt battle against a silent killer. Suddenly, the majority of the planet submerged into the unknown of an enormous liminal space.

Mystics, lightworkers, healers, and sages, we all knew – we all felt in our souls – that a time like this was drawing nearer and nearer.

After watching our planet spiral deeper and deeper into the destruction of “Western civilization” and the ruination related to subversive consumerism and egotism, this is the opportunity for the Universe to elevate into a state of higher consciousness. Snap the masses out of their lulled reverie, and bit by bit, begin to take our planet back.

We each know our gifts. We each know our Magick. We know what we were brought to this planet to do. It’s time to put them to use and do it. It’s time to open our hearts even wider. Expand our minds even greater. Elevate our souls even higher. This is not to be a time of fear, but a time for hope.

Great, wonderful, beautiful hope.

As for me, I know I’ve been patiently waiting for my time – and my time is now! I will do all I can on my part to generate permanent loving and planet healing change – FOR THE REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH ME.

Namaste