What Will It Take?

I find myself asking this frequently, yet deep inside I know the answer. It will come from a spiritual level rather than physical. But, for now, I tap into the logical side of my brain and ponder the question. But first, a story.

Most don’t understand what I mean when I say I live my life from a spiritual place, but I mention that in explaining WHY I moved to Oklahoma.

I was living in Minneapolis in 1999, with my then husband and 3 young sons. Having had enough, I gave my ex-husband a choice; his job that consumed his life as a retail sales manager, or his family? He chose the job.

I was done. I wanted out of our then 12 year marriage. Almost as soon as that happened he was whisked off to Oklahoma City, transferred within 2 weeks.

Very uncertain of what I was going to do, my sons and I spent a week at a cabin on a lake in northern Minnesota with my BFF and her family. No sign of human existence in sight. The call of my soulful friend the loon nearby, gave me my answer.

It wasn’t a question of “What is best for ME?” But, a prayer, “God, what is it that you want me to do?”

“Move to Oklahoma with your sons so they don’t grow up without a father,” came the reply. I trusted the request and listened.

While living in Oklahoma, I can’t tell you how many times I asked myself, “Who the hell does this?” or I was asked by others “Who the hell does that?” But, I knew deep in my heart it was what I was being called to do. Answering “the call” was something I had long gotten used to by this time, so there was never any hesitation.

Six long very difficult and traumatic years were to be endured. The world I suddenly found myself in was backwards and filled with so much pettiness, anger, and hatred, Coming from a state that was once coined with the term “Minnesota Nice”, it was a world extremely difficult for me to comprehend.

The whole time I was there, that little voice inside was telling me, “Denise, one day you need to write a book.” When I finally got out I eventually set out to do just that. Over several years time, I “birthed” the manuscript for my book The Advocate, (finally nearing its publishing time now) the title chosen because it was the role I found most significant as a nurse.

One of my biggest questions as I dug deeper into my writing was “What makes Oklahoma so deplorable?” I always said there was a Cancerous gas in the air and it was rapidly spreading.

I started looking for answers both on the internet and at the library. The number of various topics that popped up was expansive, but the one that spoke the loudest and explained the most was the Oklahoma City bombing.

Having visited the bombing memorial several times, I often wondered “How could something so atrocious happen in a small town city like this?” So much about it didn’t add up in my analytical brain.

Several books existed on the topic written by various entities involved. They all came to the same conclusion, “There’s more to the story here!” The internet became my best resource in finding articles and accounts of what occurred days and weeks following the bombing. Numerous accounts of people who had somehow been involved, killed after the heinous event. Somewhere during my research I knew I had to print hard copy knowing the sites I was on would eventually be erased, and many were.

The biggest telling story was an account of what what happened to a man, Kenneth Michael Trentadue at the Federal Holding Facility housed at Wiley Post Airport in Oklahoma City. (Many Oklahomans completely unaware that this Federal Holding Prison even exists)

On August 21st, 1995, he was arrested, detained there, and several days later brutally abused and murdered. His family received a phone call, being told Kenneth committed “suicide” and that his body was going to be cremated, the ashes to be sent to them. That was not to happen as Kenneth’s brother, Jesse Trentadue, was a prominent Salt Lake City, Utah lawyer.

What was to follow was years of ongoing investigation and litigation into Kenneth’s death, uncovering many telling facts that proved the Oklahoma City bombing was something much bigger than the mainstream media’s storyline.

http://kennethtrentadue.com/index.html (Warning: Extremely Graphic)

I, at one point, decided to call and talk to Jesse Trentadue myself. I guess to verify the facts and the reality of what I was trying to wrap my brain around. This phone call was my “What Will it Take?” moment.

Immediately I started an entirely different search. Instead of a focus on Oklahoma, I started expanding it out and looking at our country and various events whose storylines didn’t connect.

Very shortly after making this discovery back in 2008, Obama was put in office. He chose his attorney general, Eric Holder.

BIG RED FLAG. I knew that name! Eric Holder had been the Deputy Attorney General under Bill Clinton and his role at the time was to cover up Trentadue’s murder, and other like deaths following the bombing. There being at least 11 known total, including an El Reno prisoner guard, a OKC police officer, and a doctor who had been at the bomb site the morning of, helping victims. He had been approached by ATF agents, who arrived on the scene after the fact, asked to be bandaged to make it look like they had been injured.

Let me comment, at the time I spoke with Jesse Trentadue, he told me if I ever wanted any more information to go to his website. (Good reason I’m not typing it here!)


(excerpt from article where Jesse Trentaude points to a scathing 4-page letter (PDF) he sent to Sen. Patrick Leahy (D-Vt.) Dec. 19, 2008.)

In a footnote appearing on page one of that letter, Trentadue noted the following:
Despite the destruction of evidence, the court awarded my family a $1 million judgment.  We have used that money to offer a $250,000 reward for the people who killed Kenney.  That offer is posted at:  www.kmtreward.com.  This site also contains the irrefutable evidence that my brother was murdered, which evidence was kept from us by the Justice Department.”

Once Holder was made Obama’s attorney general, I checked that website. Jesse’s site had been replaced (back in 2008) by some sort of novelty online shopping site. When I reread my manuscript this past spring, getting to the point where I mention this, I rechecked that website. To put it mildly, I was blown away!!!

Not sure at first what I was looking at as these Chinese symbols started popping up, then photos and videos. Suddenly I realized, the URL had been turned into a Chinese porn site!!!

(I just rechecked!! This still blows my mind! If you click that link above which was copied and pasted from Jesse Trentadue’s letter, that is what it takes one to! A Chinese porn site!!! Not suggesting that you do … but that is what you’ll find. No accident there!!!! Also, a whole other story to be visited at a later date!)

My point … There are SO MANY STORIES in the mainstream media that DO NOT ADD UP!!! Of course, mainstream media has painted the label of CONSPIRACY THEORY on all of them. They use their brainwashing tools to convince a large portion of the dumbed down population that people who believe these theories are nut jobs, crazies, “racist”, and on and on.

Well, I for one, don’t need someone to confirm what I do and do not know. My time as a professional critical care nurse taught me how to think fast, and be analytical. People’s lives depended on it. And, I was really good at it. I don’t need others telling me what is fact and what is fiction.

But my question remains, especially to the masses out there who are thinking they are going to vote the Biden/Harris ticket…What will it take? When will you, out of curiosity, lay down your bias and start looking at actual facts? Put down the vitriol and hatred for Trump and start using common sense? Become your own investigative journalist?

To quote Patrick Henry….

For the Revolution Begins With Me!

Thursday’s Roar of A “Tiger”

I woke up early this Thursday morning ready to rant. Perhaps it has to do with this enormous knot I have in my left shoulder, impinging on the nerve in my left arm, but I’m feeling a bit like the “tiger” in me (2 time Tiger alum) and I’m wanting to roar.

I’ve kept to myself since the Corona outbreak in March. Watching the shut down first of our city and then of our country.

Subbing as the attendance secretary at one of the local middle schools two weeks leading up the our school district’s closing. The Universe had placed me frontline as the panic began to hit our city, being the one that fielded the phone calls from hysterical parents as speculation of what was to come began to infiltrate our area.

Spring break only a few days away, my daughter and I with plans to visit my son who is in the Navy in Florida, the pandemic not to interrupt. My background in nursing, going into that field only after becoming severely ill while finishing my last year of my microbiology degree before I was to start medical school (years later finding out I had SEVERE mercury poisoning). I had done significant study in microbiology and immunology and much of the storyline mainstream media was feeding us did not make sense.

Chastised by many for taking our trip when the rest of the country was shut down, I had learned years ago, fear was not going to stop me from living my life. Within weeks, the animosity and negativity of “friends” on Facebook made me completely unplug from the world.

The only energy I wanted penetrating my body, mind, and soul was positive energy. Glorious and uplifting energy from family and friends, but perhaps most importantly, the power of the energy I cultivate from the earth.

Living on several acres with different parts of our property sectioned off; “country life” where my large garden and our chickens live, our “backyard beach” our pool area, (this Minnesota girl’s necessary water source) and down our sloped hill leading to the creek and woods is our “Mystical Forest”.

Intuitively, the Universe had led us to this area, completely unexpected. We/I have spent the last 6 years perhaps prepping it for the dawning of this year and what was to come. We had created a mostly self-sufficient environment out of our passion for nature and the outdoors. Suddenly, I excitedly watched the masses starting to do all the things I love doing. Gardening, raising chickens, and returning to the old ways of living; becoming self-sustaining.

I started to hear from people or read articles that which I have known all my life, that there’s an energy, a vibration, that allows the spirit to calm, that relieves stress and anxiety, that brings peace to the soul when out in nature, when you have your hands in soil, and when you walk barefoot on the earth.

Anyone that truly knows me, knows there’s no better place for me to be than barefoot with my hands in the dirt. Well, not exactly true, my favorite place to be in is some body of water. Which, was the other place we were to frequently find ourselves, at the lake with my dad’s boat I had inherited.

Having left my career as a critical care nurse almost 2 decades ago, (not a difficult choice after watching people die needlessly almost daily, but that’s a whole different topic) there was much material sacrifice choosing to make my children and my own personal well being top priority. For me, the most significant, the use of my boat that sat broken and unusable in our garage for 13 years, the expanse of my daughter’s life.

The Universe being so amazing! Last fall, I was finally able to get it fixed. When spring hit, we found ourselves on the water. This began a season of unprecedented lake time. Memories to be made that will last a lifetime, not only for us, but many friends we invited to join us, giving them a break from their sequestered life in the city.

My point…is that in returning to what is REAL, in returning to Mother Earth, we will begin to rediscover ourselves. The last several decades have seen people pulling further and further inside, not just physically, but mentally, emotionally, and to me most importantly, spiritually. As a nation, we’ve grown bitter and afraid. Hostile. Complacent. Numbed up. Dumbed down.

It’s time we all take a step outside. Unplug from the technology that now surrounds us and controls our lives. We’ve allowed ourselves to be enslaved. In doing so, we have given away many of our God given freedoms and liberties. We’ve forgotten how to think for ourselves, and instead allow the talking heads to control our thoughts and our minds by continually feeding us nothing but lies, creating what we see now, a country greatly divided, that is literally at war with each other.

I check the news daily. Not mainstream media, for it all has an agenda, but real news, and I don’t recognize the world that exists out there. This didn’t happen over night. And change won’t happen over night. But it has begun. The swing in the other direction, to first take back our own lives, but then to take back our country.

It starts with each and everyone of us as individuals. The biggest thing I believe that needs to happen is for people to reopen their minds. Tune back into themselves. The voice within. Try to cut away from the socialization and indoctrination that has been intentionally implemented, for yes, that is exactly what has happened. We have been fed decades of lies while our once great country is being stolen away from us. Once very insidiously, now so blatantly out in the open.

We need to start asking questions. The storylines we’ve been fed do not make sense and its abundantly obvious once you lay down your political biases. We are one election away from losing this country forever. The last four years, nothing but hatred and hostility being pushed with an agenda. An agenda to take down the one president who truly has a belief in the American dream, for he has lived it. The one president who is not bought and owned by the elitists and globalists.

The clock is ticking and I truly do believe I know the ultimate outcome. I don’t know how ugly its going to get, as it’s already gotten uglier than I could ever have imagined. But, I refuse to allow myself to be a part of it. There is a huge silent majority who are waking up, finally, to REALITY. Not the reality they try to sell us on the nightly news, but the TRUTH, for there can only be one TRUTH and we have not been living in it.

I like the rest of the country, and honestly the world, wait with bated breath as each day unfolds leading to what is certain to be the most ruthless and savage election of all times, for it already has been.

For my part, I will get out and vote. Vote with an awareness of the how our once strong country is being destroyed, knowing the one man who has fought to save it has had four years of nothing but struggle with every action he has taken to return our country to greatness. The radical left doing nothing but slandering, and trying to destroy, dismantle, and remove him from office. But, bottom line, God is going to let his warriors win and win we will.

Until that day, I will keep peace in my heart and love in my soul. I will send positive energy out to all I encounter. I will be the best version of me I can possibly be … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

Keep Your Arms and Legs Inside the Ride at All Times

tornado moore 5-31-13 023 (2)After four sacrificial years away, leaving to find work to support us while I finished writing my first book, my husband and the father of our daughter, finally returned to live with us. He rode up that day on his Harley, the man I fell in love with, the free spirit I searched a lifetime to find. All he carried with him was a change of clothes and his toothbrush. He returned just in time to watch our daughter perform at her big dance recital.

The following Monday we headed off if in a torrential down pour for Oklahoma to retrieve his car and some of his belongings, and for me to see my oldest son as he prepared to move to California.

I knew I shouldn’t have been driving. The roads were slick and the tires on my car were bald. I could feel us hydroplaning several times. With low visibility, in spite of knowing how to drive in weather, driving is his expertise, why was I the one behind the wheel?

Before I had the opportunity to find a dry place to stop and let him take over, the car was doing a donut and heading for the ditch, rear end first. It was an omen of what was to follow.

It took over an hour for the tow truck to arrive and get us back on the road. As we drove southwest, we found dry roads ahead. The rest of the trip was uneventful, but as we headed down I-44 west of Tulsa, I received a text from my son asking where we were. We had another hour and a half of driving and he told me to hurry up and get to Oklahoma City, bad weather was on its way.

Emergency weather alerts were broadcast on all channels. We were being told we had two hours at best before damaging winds and hail, along with dangerous tornadoes, some possibly in the F4 or F5 category, would be over the city.

We arrived at my sister-in-laws as several tornadoes were reported in El Reno and Yukon, 30 miles west of us. Fortunately, they were real slow-moving. The thought was to stay at the house hoping we might be missed, or that we’d be safe in the underground portion of her house.

My son, who’s vicinity was near us, said he was sticking it out at his home. He suddenly sent me a text. He was heading for a friends in Moore as the storm steadily moved in a northeast direction. That made me grow concerned as he is a calm, intelligent, and rational young man. As we watched on TV, the tornado was heading our way. With panic the weather reports were calling an “EMERGENCY WEATHER ALERT”.

We got in our cars, three separate vehicles, as we didn’t want to come back and find them all hail damaged by the reported softball size hail. My husband drove his sister’s van, taking our daughter. I didn’t want her to be in another accident with me at the wheel. His oldest son with his pet ferret rode with me and his sister followed behind us.

Heading east down I-44, there were dark skies up ahead. The weather man reported the tornadoes were right on our tale, passing over landmarks we had just driven by. The sky to the south was clear and blue, so  we got on I-35 and drove south. Apparently along with half the city as cars were bumper to bumper and moving real slow.

No sooner than we did, the weatherman says, “Oh wow, the tornado just did something it never does! It just took a sharp right turn and is now heading towards Moore.”

Panic hit my heart. The cloudless blue sky above, instantly turned a deadening black, and the winds quickly picked up. I tried calling my husband, but his phone had been left in my car. The transformers above began popping and flashing. Their van, directly in front of us, started to seriously rock as the wind increased. I feared it would tip over. His son asked where we were going. I had no idea, but I knew we needed to get off the interstate.

At the next exit there was a church just off the road. Cars were exiting and hopping the curb. I followed suit, with my husband doing the same. Being the athletic one, I grabbed our daughter and ran for the church, losing one of my sandals and unknowingly, my car keys . By the time I got there some men had broken the back door in with a fallen tree. They were escorting women and children through the broken glass.

Once inside, they got everyone settled in a room and did a head count as a tornado passed over. One of the last to arrive said they could see the roof of the church pulsating as they pulled up. We sat it out for over an hour before the winds calmed down enough for some men to go out and assess the damage.

We had been fortunate, it hadn’t touched down or the church would have been wiped away. Only weeks earlier the first F5 that year had taken that same exact path, leaving massive destruction in its wake.

The next day, when we went to search for my lost car keys, we could see the damage all around us from the prior tornado; demolished shopping malls, movie theatres, hills of smashed cars, and only piles of debris where homes once stood. It was eerie and surreal. It had felt like we had become part of a movie set. The enormity of what had happened and what could have happened was all around.

My son had made it to his friends’ home. They sat it out in the hallway with a mattress over their heads and his friends’ dogs going wild. My son had taken off down the freeway. We were a short distance behind him, and the tornadoes were behind us.

The fact that it took a sharp right turn just as we did was symbolic for me. We had already lived through a life of hell during our six-year stay in Oklahoma. This seemed like a clear message of preparation for what was to come. Dark times were upon our beloved country, most citizens oblivious. We were certain to be a part of it, but we were to be protected.

It was no coincidence. It was serendipity or God’s message. I knew our lives were that of warriors. We would always be out running tornadoes or whatever calamity was sent our way.

It was a message, as it had been two months earlier when my family and I stayed at our place in Kissimmee, FL, just outside Orlando. We rode all the wild rides at the local theme parks with the constant warning, “Keep your arms and legs inside the ride at all times. Be prepared to come to a sudden and abrupt stop.”

Bad times for our country lay ahead and we were being shown how to survive. We were the warriors and I was a change agent. For, someone has to do something, and I am aware … the revolution begins with me.