A Celebration of Me

Early birthday/Christmas celebration in Mexico.

A being of light, a mystic, and a powerful empath, living in a false paradigm that has been massively destructive to Mother Earth and nature, its been hard to ever feel as if I’ve belonged. But with the dawning of 2020, and the culmination of decades of evil finally very outwardly making itself known, I vow to never again hide in the shadows.

As perhaps the best year of my life comes to an end, I acknowledge all that life has thrown my way and the beauty and wisdom now being bestowed upon me.

I embrace ALL that God has created me to be, for He has done so with grand purpose. Age irrelevant to me, I celebrate the process, like that of a fine wine.

Life begins a new! Cheers!

Put behind me are all concerns of what anyone else might ever think of me. The superficial judgments because most are only capable of seeing what is on the surface. The opinions of people who would rather have my Light turned off than discover with me the beauty that likewise lies within themselves, are cast to the side.

I embrace the donning of the next year knowing that with each day life will only become more glorious. That beauty and splendor will continue to be shared with me in the incredible odyssey God has planned.

I will begin each day LIVING IN THE MOMENT. Eyes wide open to experience each new facet of this extraordinary life in this extraordinary time of living.

I set an intention, with a calm heart and a gentle mind, to appreciate not only the big milestone moments, but also the magnificence in all the simple things about life that typically get overlooked.

I open my heart to the passion that lies within, and in doing so, return to the person I once was, in sharing the compassion it longs to share.

I open my mind wider to all the truths and wisdom of Reality and the Higher consciousness of living. Closing any avenues that would otherwise allow the propaganda and brainwashing by the controlling forces entry. Refusing to be affected by the fear-based living desired from the powerful elitists.

Perhaps most significantly, I open my soul to the light that lies within, giving it permission to shine brighter than it ever has. All barriers removed to God’s power that lives deep in my soul. Embracing the strongest aspect of my human self that has struggled so hard to find a place in this world.

I grant myself permission to end the last half of my life honoring all aspects of my being, but most importantly my soul, and letting it shine as brightly as humanly possible.

In doing all of this, I invite every being I encounter, in person or in written word, to do the same. To embrace ALL that they are. To go within to the deep scarey, yet profoundly rewarding aspects of self, tapping into the tremendous gifts and energy of human potential. Allowing transcendence of the false paradigm that holds humanity captive.

I encourage each and ever person looking for a better world to live in, a more sustainable planet to pass on to those who come after us, to look closely at their beliefs. To open their minds to the possibility that they have been living in the world’s largest lie, all in the guise to suppress the tremendous potential that exists within each and everyone of us. To discover the planet’s largest untapped natural resource, the God given gifts we each possess.

I celebrate my day of birth not only for me, but for the wish and desire that all of humanity discover their potential that will offer to them a more powerful and fulfilling way of life. Because…Revolution Begins With Me.

Namaste.

Next Steps … Manifesting

Creativity means removing the restraints that society and self have placed upon ones psyche. The fire to create comes from the soul. From a place of letting all that you are come to the surface to view in a beautiful previously unknown form..

Writing my 1st book, The Advocate, however, was somewhat of a different process. It was an undertaking of going deep within and dredging up horrific events, horrific unnecessary events I had witnessed as a nurse. And, facing the hideous demons and what had happened to my life while in a culture of darkness. Cathartic to write, to say the least.

A critical care nurse, and good at what I did, especially when it came to interaction with family and friends of my patients, typically sedated or unconscious and on ventilators because of severe illness or trauma. My gift was a connection with spirit, my patient’s spirits, an innate part of me I hadn’t analyzed at the time.

Writing this book became the time for me to connect with my spirit, and as someone who had gone through a traumatic event, to heal through the process.

The book finished over seven years ago. Having had secured an agent three years prior, directing me on how to really bring my story to life. Very sound advice I was given. She had stated it would be “the hardest thing you’ve ever done.” I knew that wasn’t true. Living it had been.

Once complete, I was left in an enormous liminal space. Not the person I was before I started the book, no idea who I was as it was finished. Left in countless little pieces. Unaware of what I was meant to become. Still uncertain now, but my feet have finally found solid ground.

My three sons, as young children, had lived through experiences that would make them more aware of themselves and the world around them as adults. Evolving into strong, solid individuals because they knew what it was like to be in dark times and survive. Coming out more confident and courageous than they could ever have imagined.

Climbing out of the darkness together, I had told them, “We will rise above as the rest of the world is falling.”

Aware my visions always came true, but sometimes in ways my mind, living on a physical plane, previously couldn’t comprehend. In March, when the corona virus shut down the planet, my family in the most solid place, as a whole unit, it had ever been, my words of over a decade ago struck me with great awe. I could never have imagined their meaning being so literal.

Our summer spent enjoying life more fully than we ever have, especially my young daughter and I. Making memories that will last a lifetime. Opportunities coming to us that had never been provided. All the while in between, enjoying the splendor we had spent the last 6 years creating in our country Oasis.

For me, it has been a year of celebration. A year of culmination of the decades of sacrifice and healing. A year of looking at all the pieces of self I had decided to salvage, and after placing them back together, marveling at what was created. In the end, becoming a year of returning to spirit (FINALLY).

My year’s “harvest” in. All the magnificent and glorious energy created over the months, it becomes time to return to reflection and inner contemplation.

With my daughter on track with her home school 9th grade year. I find myself asking, what are my “next steps”?

I know the answer. I knew it was coming. I began to sense it last fall. I had a very strong feeling a year ago now, “Your life will never ever be the same.” Living each moment fully. soaking it up, knowing tremendous evolution was underway.

The people who knew of my writing and my book, long ago tired of asking me when I was going to publish. My response always being, “Soon. I will know when the time is right.” Well, that time has finally come.

My “next steps” are presenting themselves. I know the process of what I need to do. Not because I’m proficient at publishing, but because I’ve gone through the blueprint once, realizing at the time that writing and publishing were two separate entities, and that at the time, I wasn’t ready. But, I have been preparing for this day mentally ever since.

Cognizant it is a process. A process that begins with one simple step. And as beautiful as the Universe is, that first simple step came to me in word form this morning from a fellow bloggers post.

“Take up one idea. Make that idea your life. Dream of it, think of it, Live on that idea. This is the way to success.”

My idea is to publish. It will come in baby steps and increments. But for certain, it will come. For the moment is now … and Now is for manifesting.

Life is too short … it’s time to turn visions into reality … for The Revolution Begins With Me.

Blue Moon, Halloween, and the Thinning of the Veil

“Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one” -Einstein

In a year when the energy has already been overwhelmingly escalated and amplified, today’s Blue Moon, (meaning the second full month within one month, the first on October 1st) falling 3 days before perhaps this country’s most significant election in over 100 years, is certain to bring elevated fervor and tremendously heightened emotion.

I’ve become an avid observer of astrology over the last decade, following the moon cycles, eclipses, and other cosmic events. My favorite source, Tanaaz, intuitive astrologer at Forever Conscious, (https://foreverconscious.com/author/tanaaz) Through her work, I have found great confirmation in the power of the celestial world, using her guidance quite successfully.

The cycle of the moon, when it is full, is a time of release, letting go. It’s a time to sit with self, and allow that within, which no longer serves us, to come to the surface. It’s a time to allow yourself to feel and experience the emotion that wants release and then permit it to happen.

Feelings of unease and dark emotions that arise may elicit great internal discord, but if we can nurture ourselves in positive ways and find an outlet to channel that energy, we will benefit in the long run. Freeing ourselves to the transformations that will follow with the onset of the new moon.

The fact that today’s Blue Moon is falling on Halloween, a night that signifies the beginning of a yearly event when the the veil to the spirit world is thinning, only enhances the overall effect of the energy across our planet right now.

It’s a time when the entities in the spirit world, more than any other time of the year, want to make themselves known. For me, empathic, intuitive, and acutely tuned into this realm, its already been a highly charged week, eliciting much turbulent energy. Why grounding is so important in my life.

I know great change is near. Not because of all wild and crazy occurrences of 2020, but because I, like many other lightworkers, mystics, and healers have been sensing and preparing for this time for decades.

To live in the world of Light, means going beyond the five senses, removing oneself from this limited paradigm. It means allowing oneself to tap into the energy of a higher vibration. Energy on the visual spectrum is only a small dot on the world of potential that exists.

When you allow yourself to move past the negativity and fear placed upon us within the physical realm, a whole new world of opportunity lies on the other side of the spectrum. We are given the potential to travel to planes where the energy waves are higher and grand opportunities and manifestations prevail.

Our planet as a whole has been in an enormous shift of consciousness. More and more individuals are removing themselves from the paradigm of virulence and fear. As they do, they are allowed to ascend and find a more peace-filled and loving space to exist.

The spiritual revolution is no longer a thought or a desire. It has become a reality. It is underway whether you acknowledge it or not. It is happening and accelerating with each new awakened mind. The question becomes, do you drop the illusion you’ve been living in and join it? Or do you wait and once it’s unfolded full force acknowledge its existence?

I’ve known my answer for a very long time … For the Revolution Begins With Me.

Our Time Is Now!

Calling all mystics, lightworkers, healers, and sages, OUR TIME IS NOW!

We were born with a deeper connection to Mother Earth, a deeper KNOWING. Many of you, like me, have gone through a series of hardship and tribulation. Feeling like an alien, compared to the masses. Those times were our tests. Training for this day at hand. Opportunities to discover your own unique gifts.

Always knowing there was a deeper purpose for your life. Possessing a deeper awareness of the Life, of the Universe. A spiritual connection, that most have abandoned in search of materialism and ego status. Living in a false paradigm, you sensed your life was meant for so much more.

Many of you, over the years uncovering and honing in on and perfecting the Magick you possess within, some of you just beginning to discover your gifts.

For me, it was an awakening in nature over 30 years ago, after moving to the hilly countryside outside of Missouri’s capital city, pushing my infant son up and down rocky steep terrain, in his Graco stroller, long before jogger strollers were even a thing.

A very profound connection to Gaia was discovered, one I was aware of raised in central rural Minnesota, but one that lay dormant for several years after I left home for college.

Over 3 decades ago now, my life committed to following that calling, very consciously embarking on “the road less traveled.”

Life bringing many obstacles my way: the suicide of my father, a mysterious illness, ultimately diagnosed as severe mercury poisoning, separation and eventually divorce of my first husband (3 sons later), and my darkest most challenging times, moving to a dark, backwards part of our country, and being submerged in a world of ignorance, a world I could not comprehend.

Upon finally getting out, remarrying, and giving birth to my daughter at age 41, I was more certain than ever, my life held a much larger, deeper purpose.

By this time, I was well aware I was a healer, a mystic, an empath. I knew I possessed strong powerful gifts as I seen similar ones being displayed in my sons – sons I lovingly and knowingly called my “warriors”. Each of them possessing their own unique gifts, their own Magick.

My youngest son having gone through the most difficult, most challenging times from the age of three. Fighting against conforming to our society’s ways, especially during our “sentence” in the backwards state, the result, over fifteen years of duress.

I had always told him though, a woman of visions, a gift I strongly and firmly believed in by that point, “We will be rising as everyone else is falling.” Together we will rise higher than either of us could ever imagine.”

I sit in Pensacola, FL as I write this, at his wife’s apartment. Now a sailor at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, a select aircrew member. Last year having to jump through major hoops at the age of 23, to even be able to be accepted into the Navy because of his prior history, (I never had a doubt he would make it though!). Once waivered in, being chosen as part of the select 61st Cardinal Division in St. Louis, MO.

He has spent his life writing his own script, following his own inner voice. Never conforming, always honoring his spirit. Last year, ending in the marriage to his beautiful wife, now awaiting the birth of their first child.

Winter/spring of 2020, NEVER would I have imagined the words of my vision to be SO LITERAL. “We will be rising when everyone else is falling. …” The whole planet suddenly in the midst of an abrupt battle against a silent killer. Suddenly, the majority of the planet submerged into the unknown of an enormous liminal space.

Mystics, lightworkers, healers, and sages, we all knew – we all felt in our souls – that a time like this was drawing nearer and nearer.

After watching our planet spiral deeper and deeper into the destruction of “Western civilization” and the ruination related to subversive consumerism and egotism, this is the opportunity for the Universe to elevate into a state of higher consciousness. Snap the masses out of their lulled reverie, and bit by bit, begin to take our planet back.

We each know our gifts. We each know our Magick. We know what we were brought to this planet to do. It’s time to put them to use and do it. It’s time to open our hearts even wider. Expand our minds even greater. Elevate our souls even higher. This is not to be a time of fear, but a time for hope.

Great, wonderful, beautiful hope.

As for me, I know I’ve been patiently waiting for my time – and my time is now! I will do all I can on my part to generate permanent loving and planet healing change – FOR THE REVOLUTION BEGINS WITH ME.

Namaste

The Rant I Knew Was Coming!

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I put it out there the other day, that what I wrote was my “mother’s rant”, but true to fashion, as I know myself, what I feel always comes a couple days before the actual event.

Today, is in fact the day my “Rant” has bubbled to the surface. And, it has done so for several different reasons. First, and foremost on my list though, is an extremely sad loss that I learned of yesterday.

I consider myself very blessed to have grown up in the area I did, during the time that I did, around the people that I did. Not that I would say I was really close to them at the time, but I was very aware that collectively we had something very unique, very special, and quite rare.

That being said, when my BFF of 50 plus years, was on her return home texting spree, after a funeral for her husband’s family member a couple states away, and she sent me a screen shot from a closed class Facebook account, regarding a classmate whose 26 year old son had “passed” the day before, I was beyond deeply saddened.

It had been bad enough, the few times last year when posts came across that we had lost members of our class of 144, which graduated in the year of 1983, but to think that one of them had just lost a child, was heartbreaking.

After the screenshot she sent, she sent me a more personal, and acutely disturbing text message from another classmate, as they both had children who were good friend’s with the deceased.

The cause of death was unknown, but the situation in which this young man was found, dying in his sleep, after an unsuccessful attempt at CPR. having a history of depression, anxiety, and alcohol problems broke my heart.

Beginning to write this, on a day that held immensely painful memories for myself, memories I have finally been able to free myself of after 15 long painful years, the news hit me really hard.

The “Elephant in the Room,” that no one wants to talk about, but everyone is finally growing more concerned of, due to its sky-rocketing occurrences, at younger and younger ages, is depression and worse, suicide. (Not at all saying that was what this was.)

Why someone would, or could, do such a thing, such as taking their own life, is something I understand way too well.

Not only losing my father in this manner, but fearing for many years that my youngest son would head down a similar road, and also having grappled with periods of depression myself, it’s a topic I am familiar with on a profound level.

Some time after losing my dad, back in 1994, working as a critical care nurse, and seeing several suicide attempts coming in on a weekly basis, I had heard, or read, that depression was due to an emptiness within the psyche, or the spiritual self. Being a free-spirit, and being conscious of a world most weren’t, these words spoke to me.

Especially back then, the “material” age, leading into the new millennium, with the “millennials,” totally wrapped in ego-living and pure self-gratification, the thought of spirit had all but been extinguished from the American language.

It seems that, not until the last several years, has there really started to be a resurgence of the huge role spirit plays in one’s life. Or, how, with people who suffer from depression, and other mental illness, the complete absence of the role of lack of spirit as a cause exists.

People can, and will scoff, at what I write, but I write from a place of KNOWING. A place of not just watching and observing on a daily basis, but from a place of experiencing on a personal level.

We hear endlessly about chemical imbalances, and the use of pharmaceuticals as the answer. Absolutely, yes, this plays a role, but where is the discussion of the spirit? And, the spiritual emptiness within people’s lives that lead to addictions of every type imaginable? Why mental health problems are truthfully mushrooming off the chart?

I say what I say from a personal perspective. My dad committed suicide because his was lost, broken and empty inside. Possessing a spirit, that I remember from an early age, was alive and full of energy. Full of excitement for life, and the natural aspects of the world, one’s connection to Mother Earth.

He instilled all of this energy, compassion, and love of nature into me as a child. Something I would tap more into and begin to understand in my early years of motherhood.

Depression would raise its ugly head during periods of my life, when the deeper, spiritual side of me, was not being fed. Then, when my youngest son started to profoundly grapple with the dark side of his psyche, I became very aware that I needed to dig deeper within myself to find answers for me, so that I could find answers for him.

It was only in reconnecting with all the things that fed my spirit, that fed my soul; music, movement, and Mother Earth, that healing was allowed, and the sensations of depression would be completely shed.

During that time, as the darkness within our country descended, depression and mental health issues continued to climb, with the number of suicides escalating, happening at younger and younger ages.

Our country becoming entirely spiritually devoid of any positive energy, as people became morosely engrained in the material, ego-based way of living we had been indoctrinated into, being exposed to more and more degenerative ways of living, as if they were the norm, as if we were somehow advancing as a human race by doing so.

It saddens my heart that we have had to come to this place.  But, on the positive side of humanity, it is when things get bad enough for more and more people, that gradually, slowly, the masses begin to wake up.

As the multitude stop looking outside themselves for answers, and finally start doing the hard, but much needed work of looking within, reconnecting with one’s own spirit, that we begin to see change.

We are a long way from turning the “Titanic” around, but we are at the place of a new beginning. A Spiritual Awakening on the horizon, as mankind starts to reclaim all that is natural and humane. For, it is only in owning all that we possess within, the good, the bad, and most especially the ugly, that the shift will occur.

It is only in owning our frailties and imperfections as humans, it is only in not comparing ourselves to one another, but celebrating our uniqueness, it is only in not expecting perfection out of ourselves, and God forbid our children, and it is only in facing our fears head on, that we begin to make the much needed shift in healing ourselves, and then our planet.

A Spiritual Awakening is on the horizon. A claim to take back Self and the beauty that each one of us holds within. A new dawn awaits, as we begin to lift ourselves, and then each other, out of the dark abyss we have allowed our country, our planet, to become lost within.

This I know, and I will do all I can on my part … for the Revolution Begins With Me.

When the Butterflies Came

IMG_2075 (5)My 9 year old daughter discovered the book, “When the Butterflies Came” by Kimberly Griffiths Little about a month ago. She likes to read, but I wouldn’t say she’s an avid reader like my two oldest sons were. There was something in that 327 page book though, that she couldn’t put down.

As soon as she finished, she insisted I start reading it right away. It took me a week to begin, but only a few chapters in I was hooked. Suddenly, images of my life in Oklahoma City came flooding back.

I never had any bond or any internal connection with my mother. When I was young I thought it was because of me. After I had my first son at the age of 21, I realized that wasn’t true. I felt a love for him like I had never known. I have always been the free spirit who was never allowed to fly, but with him that all changed. I taught him, and my sons that followed, a passion for life. I encouraged them to be in touch with their spirits.

My sons taught me what real maternal love should feel like. I loved them passionately and I loved life passionately, but there was always something missing. After separating from my first husband because work was his priority, not his family, certainly not his wife, we all moved to Oklahoma City when he was transferred, to keep their father in their life.

I am a highly intuitive, highly spiritual person. We were living in a Minneapolis suburb at the time. I was working as a critical care nurse. We were near biological family, but I couldn’t have felt more alone. I had health issues that were only exasperated by the weather. My heart and my ego told me to move back to Columbia, MO, my children’s birthplace, but my spirit POWERFULLY urged me to move to Oklahoma City.

It was an immensely difficult thing to do. I was still sad and alone, only now I was in a strange land. A year in I met a man, Joey, an Italian from Pittsburgh, enormously caring and passionate. He worked as a physician’s assistant with the liver transplant team. In time he would become my nurturer, my healer.

At the age of 35, he was able to fill the needs that my mother never could. He was aware of the significance of that relationship and of my inner child. I had a love of butterflies and several rooms in my house were decorated with them. He bought me many gifts with butterflies. My favorite was a lawn statue of a young girl running with a net.

Time passed and life moved on. Upon finding my second husband and moving back to Columbia, MO at the age of 40, when I became pregnant I knew it was with a daughter. I knew God was giving me the one thing I needed to feel complete. On a warm spring day when the butterflies were out, a beautiful little girl was born, my “helper and defender of mankind.”

When she got a little older, I gave Joey back the statue of the little girl to put in his backyard sanctuary where he had allowed that little girl in me to heal. The thought of her left the recesses of my mind….until now. Until my beautiful little angel prepares to turn 10 and discovers a story about butterflies, and they suddenly become very special to her.

I anticipate the beauty of the upcoming spring and the desire to plant flowers all around us, as we invite all the butterflies into our world.  I confirm the circle of life. I confirm the process of healing. I confirm the power of love. The change we desire starts from within. The revolution begins with me.