The more mature I get, the more firmly I believe that everything happens for a reason. That said, I learned a week and a half ago of what the real source of my anxiety was back on Monday, November 16th.
A highly intuitive empath, sometimes it gets tricky deciphering heavy emotions when they arise. And after all these years, I still sometimes forget that I usually feel the most intense emotions days, sometimes even weeks, before the cause of the emotion presents itself.
That all said, I got a phone call, a couple days before Thanksgiving from my oldest son. The long anticipated wedding was being called off, yet again. Not postponed this time, but put off for an indeterminate amount of time.
It seems the day I was experiencing all that anxiety, he was likely the source. Upon waking that day, the emails and phone calls starting coming in to him and his fiancé. They almost instantaneously had over 20 people back out, leaving the number down to 10, due to Covid, or Covid related reasons. Including the bride’s father who is a college basketball coach. (Her mother and grandmother already not on the guest list.)
At that point, they still planned on going ahead with the wedding. A work promotion for the bride-to-be, moving them both to London, England next April/May. Another postponement truly wasn’t an option. Talking to the venue, an extremely elegant 5 star resort, they continued to watch wedding plans fall apart. Management and staff having had a huge turnover in the wake of the pandemic, and all was in disarray. They truly felt the universe was telling them their Mexico wedding wasn’t meant to be.
A big blow for my daughter and I, especially initially. My 14 year old, holed up in our Oasis, isolated from the rest of the world homeschooling, definitely looking forward to some human interaction. Especially with her Godfather, her oldest brother, whom we rarely get to see. Soon to be seeing even less. (Looks like a trip to London may be in our future if international travel without the Covid vaccine exists at that time.)
As a mom, it took awhile to wrap my mind around the newest development from one of my fabulous children. Never leaving a moment for dullness in my life. The twists and turns coming easier with time, as I realize everything truly does happen for a reason.
Hearing near tears in my grown son’s voice, having regret for the latest change in their hard fought wedding plans, temporarily put on hold. Him feeling deeply unhappy about disappointing his sister, these were words I shared. Everything does truly happen for a reason. We might not be able to understand when it happens, but given time, the pieces all come together and begin to make sense.
A justice of the peace wedding to happen sometime before they make the big move. (And I thought Hollywood was far away!) The wedding for family and friends to attend, not to occur for at least another year now.
That all said, my daughter and I still had resort reservations and airline flights we had already changed once. The resort said guests would have a 12 month credit if they decided to change their plans. But, my thought is, things are only going to get worse before they get better. We are able to go now. I think we should. Not to mention, the disappointment of my daughter if all plans got canceled. And, the fact I was looking forward to some sand and sun.
Everything for a reason! It really has had me pondering, WHY are my daughter and I (along with one other son and his girlfriend) the only ones left going to Mexico?
Me, never having a huge desire to vacation there to begin with, especially since the early 2000’s when all the drug cartel problems started becoming so prevalent. But, when I researched Xcaret, I learned it was different than most cities in the country. A place I became increasingly more curious to see, not only because of the beautiful beaches and the incredibly breath-taking terrain, but the ancient history of the Mayan people. Something I had done an extensive study of back in 2012, with the end of the Mayan calendar.
I have spent the last 2 weeks moving through the anxiety. Watching pieces fall in place. Having beautiful Magickal moments happen around me only reassuring me that, Yes, we are meant to take this trip alone. NEVER a trip I would have initiated on my own. NEVER a resort I would have chosen, living much more humbly.
A little bit extra cash had found its way into my life when initially booking the resort last winter. I decided we would splurge and get one of their elegant “swim out” suites, and that unlike most, we would stay 7 nights instead of 3.
As the countdown of days begins to turn into a countdown of hours, excitement and anticipation builds and mounts. I feel the spirit world calling me. Making me very aware something deeply profound is going to happen once I get my anxious self and my daughter safely to our resort.
Strong emotions well up inside, as I imagine a week from now us having already spent several days in this beautiful tropical haven. What adventure awaits? What mystery lies ahead? So many unknowns as this trip turns into something so unlike anything it was originally planned to be.
I continue making preparations. Making sure all is cared for that needs to be, both at home and abroad. Anticipation looming and excitement building with the Mystery out ahead. My life (and that of my daughter) about to change forever for the positive, as I am aware … the Revolution Begins With Me.